been sick

been sick this past couple of days .. hmm. maybe too tired .. getting better though, still recovering ..

Bim bim bab

Highlight of the day: dinner wif BS group .. ^^" ... had dinner at korean restaurant, seoul ria ... just finished our last book on acts ... next week is starting with new topic about "guidance" before we start the new book "The path to godliness" ...

Our main conversation at the dining table was around personality .. One person in the bs group is a psychologist, and she knows a lot about this kind of stuff ... In the end everyone sort of know each other's personality gitu !...

We are quite different sih, there is a Melancholy/Choleric, Sanguin/Melancholy, Melancholy,Melancholy/Sanguin, Strong phlegmatic/Choleric .. wah macem2 deh ... Different but hopefully bisa kompak .. hehehehhe .. ^^"

Shopping night

Did a little shopping today ... can't really remember when was the last time I do that ... hehe .. it's been a while .. I don't really like to go shopping unless it's necessary or it's grocery kind of shopping ... ^^"

Bought a TV antenna at dick smith, wanna try the antenna tonight after dinner ... I have not been able to watch tv for almost 3 months now ... *pretty bad huh* .. I also bought hardware stuffs like cloth hangers, etc ... Went also to dymocks bookstore today to look for certification books .. I think I found one .. yup .. I want to do computing certification (MCSD), but through manual learning (books) .. I want to ask the company to buy one for me if possible, we'll see ... ^^"

On my way home, I met an friend of mine "D" on the bus .. I haven't seen her since her graduation on april this year .. hehe ... asked her how she's goin and all that ... It's good news that "D" has already got a job now ... thank God .. and she's enjoying it ... hehe ... Oh well, we talked about general stuffs la .. like where she lives, about her apartment, hahah a.. she said the facility is really bad .. the swimming pool in her apartment will make your skin itchy if you swim on it .. heheh ... so funny ...

Met Cathlyn Jessica Wong and "C"

Cathlyn Jessica Wong has been born! Yippieee .. Congrats to Ruby and Anne .. Dah jadi mum and dad ... and also to Oscar Wong who is also very very proud to be an uncle .. hehehe ..

On my way home from the hospital after visiting Ruby and Anne, I went to Coles to do a little shopping ... wih ... I met "C" an old IH friend there .. I was surprised to have met her there since I knew that she went back to singapore already .. Had a little chat and ask how she's going .. she is married already, she even showed me her wedding photos at Coles .. heheh ... she is very talkative just like how she normally is, and a very easy person to talk to.. Her husband was with her at Coles and he did not barely say a word ... hahahah ...

She was talking and talking, and me.... just laughing and laughing .... I used to call her "sista" .. I wanted to call her untie since she is much older than me, just like when you usually call singaporean woman, but she wouldn't let me .. heheh .. so I just called her sista looo ... Oh well, great to hear that she's doing well .. she is currently on holiday after coming back from china .. It's also great to hear that she still goes to church in singapore .. After some catching up then we say goodbye .. will send her email later on ..

1 Cor 16:13-14

This morning I flipped through Men's Katoomba Convention book that I attended this year ... Found a beautiful verse which I want to share:

¹³Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be men of courage; be strong. ¹⁴Do everything in love.

Funny that writing a sermon is good since it can remind you of important points that were brought up to you, but I am so lazy at doing it ... ^^ ...

House of game

Well .. just realize that my place is becoming a game and anime center now ... 2 of Jun's (my brother) friends are coming in as new flatmates and they play games a lot ... wih .. the house now seems to be more livelier than before ... lots of activities ... lots of games, animes, movies ...

It's good but it can be bad as well .. heheeh ... depending on how you manage your time really .. Just got a bit worried that jun won't be able to study even though he said he could .. heheh .. anyway .. he's an adult already ... he should know what to do :)

Well, my new flatmates .. they are all quite young ... hehehe .. unlike me old ... Oh well .. later on when Arie (the oldest flatmate) move out of the place, I'll be the oldest then .. hiks hiks .. hehe .. I guess it's alright .. don't mind being old at all .. Hmmmm ... They are all quite nice (as far as I know now anyway) heheheh ... One goes to church and the other one doesn't ... Anyway .. just glad to have them as new flatmates ....

Oh btw, I might need a new flatmate at the end of the year since Arie is moving out ... so whoever is interested, contact me ok? :) .. You must be a guy, and love to play game also .. hehehe .. no no .. the last part was a joke btw ...

My room is cleannnnn

Just cleaned my room this week ... bring a new table for my bro to study into the room ... remove a couple of unwanted stuff .. it's so clean mann .. heheh .. me happy ... the room is much nicer and cleaner now .. hope it stays that way ... absolutely love it !!!!

Worship

Oh well ... been thinking about it lately in relation to my church buddies, especially in youth fellowship, about the songs that we use in the service in relation to the meaning of worship itself ..

Oh well ... Worship, some people say (which I am totally agree) is not just singing praise and worship .. It's how you live your life for God .. your total offering, your life as a living sacrifice .. It's no use if you sing so passionately at church and yet your life doesn't really reflect what you sing ... no use mann ...

Having that in mind, what is singing then? Can praise and worship be considered a worship? How do you explain what God is doing through praise and worship .. I know that some people cry during worship and God changed lives through it as well .. Should we sing at all at church? Why can't we go straight to the Word of God? What kind of songs that we should sing? rock, contemporary, rap, hymn, gospel, not so gospel song ... Just wanna get people's opinion on this ... Is singing at church important? Some people say also that worship leader's task is equal to the preacher, that is to bring people to God's presence .. But isn't God already present in our lives ? What does it mean to bring people to God's presence? Is God present in our lives and collectively when we gather together? Remember when two or three gather in Jesus name, He is there .??

Hehe .. got many questions in my mind ... I should've attended Mid Year Conference held at Katoomba recently since they learnt a lot about what worship is ...

Got a couple of quotes recently which I like to share to you,
*More knowledge could make you proud, but love is always humble*
*Don't whinge, Don't shine, Don't recline*

Company Meeting

Had a big company meeting today ... pretty big considering we haven't done something like this in the past ... came up with short term action plan (60 days) as well as long term plan ...

Glad to see more team spirit happening at the company .. it's been lacking in my point of view .. It needs to change if we want to move forward and work together more as a team and have a more happy environment .. :) ... The change must start from top-down and bottom up (meet in the middle) heheh ..

Meaningless? not at all

Had a chit chat with two friends today unexpectedly .. One is an old friend "A" (rarely meet him even though we go to the same church) and the other one "B" is much much senior than me, also church friend ...
 
Well, managed to talk about a couple of things ... I met A on my way to work this morning. Managed to catch up with him a bit .. asked him how he's going and all that ... I am surprise to hear how he's going .. A is currently working hard to support one of his family member to study in aussie .. well, I really admire his maturity, his love and his sacrifice ... I met the other person "B" on my way back home from broadway shopping centre .. "B" is currently working as well .. didn't manage to talk a lot except the general stuffs, like what work I do, where do I live, our church retreat, "B"'s work etc ...
 
From these two people, I sort of see the world of the "grown ups" .. hehehe .. if you'd like to put it that way .. I have to agree to what is written in the book of ecclesiastes,
 
"Meaningless! Meaningless!" says the Teacher. "Utterly meaningless! Everything is meaningless."
 
What does man gain from all his labor at which he toils under the sun?
 
Generations come and generations go, but the earth remains forever.
 
The sun rises and the sun sets, and hurries back to where it rises.
 
The wind blows to the south and turns to the north; round and round it goes, ever returning on its course.
 
All streams flow into the sea, yet the sea is never full. To the place the streams come from, there they return again.
 
All things are wearisome, more than one can say. The eye never has enough of seeing, nor the ear its fill of hearing.
 
What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun.
 
Is there anything of which one can say, "Look! This is something new"? It was here already, long ago; it was here before our time.
 
There is no remembrance of men of old, and even those who are yet to come will not be remembered by those who follow. 
  
 
Well it doesn't mean that my friends' lives are meaningless ... hehe .. anyway, the writer of ecclesiastes was talking about life under the sun, life separated from God .. meaningless, pointless, no hope .. :) .. Thank God that I know Jesus ... Really Look forward to fill my life with hopefully what He wants me to do .. and later die and be with Him .. so good so good .. heheh

Moving forward

Don't know what to write .. It's been a while since I wrote about my life ..

Hmm, talking about life, Life seemed so busy this week .. there are many things that I have to do since many events are coming up .. There is youth KKR on 24 July 2004 with topic "The challenge of Christianity in this post modernism era" by Rev Hendra G. Mulya. Church Retreat is also coming up. At work, one senior of mine is taking annual leave at the moment, which means all responsibilities are on my shoulder .. fiuhhh ... so hard, but challenging at the same time .. so far so good, hopefully it stays like that ..

I recently talked to Hans regarding why is it so hard for me to communicate with my work mate who are Caucasian and yet it's not so hard for me to communicate with my asian colleagues and friends .. One of the conclusion is that the culture differences creates a barrier between us .. When they gather, they talk about something which I am not really familiar with, like cartoon that they watched when they were kids, aussie jokes, aussie books, different type of music, different general knowledge, different way of life .. so many different things ... I guess it's true that we have to apply the principal "seek to understand first, before you want to be understood" ... Must try harder and communicate more ... heheheh ...

About my ministry at church, it's really hard being one of the member of youth committee, since you have to organize this and that along with your everyday work plus other commitments .. Oh well, I can't complain, since God has been good in my life ... Want to give the best I can .. Many times I feel like giving God only 50% of my total effort, sometimes less ... not good .. I must change myself and ask God to help me with that ...

Moving forward, I think I want to start thinking seriously about what I want to do later on in the future .. I've started to make up my mind on a few things but there are many other things that I still need to think about, decide and surrender everything in His hands ... I am sure there are many obstacles ahead and I really need to be prepared for that ... Sometimes I thank God that I can live in Australia, have a good fellowship and learnt so many things from so many different people ... It's part of my life that I will always cherish later on in life ..

Until then ..............

To let go

Hmm .. don't fully understand what "letting go" means, but here you go,

To let go doesn't mean to stop caring, it means I can't do it for someone else.
To let go is not to cut myself off, it's the realization that I don't control another.
To let go is not to enable, but to allow learning from natural consequences.
To let go is to admit powerlessness, which means the outcome is not in my hands.
To let go is not to try to change or blame another, I can only change myself.
To let go is not to care for, but to care about.
To let go is not to fix, but to be supportive.
To let go is not to judge, but to allow another to be a human being.
To let go is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes, but to allow others to affect their own outcomes.
To let go is not to be protective, it is to permit another to face reality.
To let go is not to deny but to accept.
To let go is not to nag, scold, or argue, but to search out my own shortcomings and to correct them.
To let go is not to adjust everything to my desires but to take each day as it comes and to cherish the moment.
To let go is not to criticize and regulate anyone but to try to become what I dream I can be.
To let go is not to regret the past but to grow and live for the future.


To let go is to fear less and love more.

-- undisclosed source -- :)

Strange feeling!

Suddenly there is this strange feeling in me
Feeling hard to express
Want to let it go and yet
its arms hold around me tightly

Sooo tight
It makes me sigh when I feel it
How long will it hold me like this
Like a mother who won't let go of her son from her arms

Should I feel this way
After all those trials and tough times
After all those cries and laughs
Should not I be stronger than this

I bow my knees unto Thee
The one and only God is He
Pouring out my burdens and my sins
The strange feeling I surrender also

He lifted me up again, oh yes He did
He makes me like a warrior and teach me to battle the enemy
He looks into the weak and deliver them from their troubles
He puts His strength in those who fears Jehovah

Ohhh what a feeling, what a relieve
Let all who are weak come to Him
Jesus is His Name
Mighty God, Warrior and Counsellor

Feel tired

Feeling a bit tired lately. I guess I need to rest a bit to restore my energy...Worse, jun my little brother has been sick for 3 days now. We went to the doctor today, and the doctor said it was infection in his digestion .. We bought some medicine and abon for him to eat. Just wish him well soon ...

Peanut character

You are Pig Pen!


Which Peanuts Character are You?
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waiting waiting and waiting, AT LASSTTTTT

Hmmhhhhh .... I picked up my little brother at the sydney airport today. I had to wait for quite some time. Since there was a delay in the flight I had to wait around 3 hours in the airport. Such a troublesome airplane, luckily there was a soccer match at the airport between Holland and Sweden, so I watched that game while waiting. The rest of the time, I used it for shopping at the airport. I thought why not do shopping while I have a chance to do it, since I rarely go shopping these days. In the end I met my brother, I was very happy. VERY VERY HAPPY, AT LASSSTTTTTT ... Hehehehe .. We went home and spent a bit of time together, had lunch and all that. It was a good time.

Looking at that experience, I think I have a lot of things in me that I currently have to wait upon. Wait for God's time. So manyyyyyy, that sometimes I begin to loose patience. Things like waiting for God to work in my family, continuing my study, have my own usaha, having a relationship, waiting for growth in my ministry, and many things. Those waits seem so loooongg and so farrrrr away. I can get impatient easily when things don't go according to my way, and I am quite a hasty person actually. I like to do things very fast. ^^ .. I sometimes loose track, like a sheep, a dumb sheep that is lost. Thank God, He is THE good shepherd. I can see and feel that He always directed me, not to loose sight of what's important in this life. It is not MONEY, or RELATIONSHIP, NOT EVEN MINISTRY. I think the most important thing in this life is to make Jesus' Name known, How great is God's name and the things that He has done. Whatever I do, wherever I will be, I don't want to loose track of this goal. Hey friends, please rebuke me if I start to loose sight of this! ^^

Anyway, in the end of all those waits, there is an "AT LASSTTT" part. I will wait for that time and rejoice and be thankful. Maybe this is the time I meet God face to face or it can be other times as well. hehehe. In the end maybe I don't get what I really want, but yeah, I will trust HIM who loves me, the good shepherd and still rejoice, because I know who HE IS.

Oh well, in the meantime, I'm just happy that my brother is here again. YAYYYY! AT LAST. It was worth the wait.

Happyyyyyyyyy!

Ureshiiii, Yippiiii, Horeeeeee .... ^^
Reasons:
1. Georgia Charissa Widjaja telah lahir, 22 June 2004, 11:22 PM, 3.7 Kg .. hehehe ... Congrats Ferry and Sianty ... Matanya mirip banget ama sianty . hehehhe ...
2. Si Jun will come back soon ... 26th June ..
3. My computer is back to life .. asikkk ...

No Action Talk Only

I was talking to friend today about Christianity especially the Christians. His view really reminds me that I should "always always always always always" have a full self-awareness living in this world as something that I claim to be, a child of God.

His view about Christians is basically what I write as the title of this blog. He thinks that most Christians (including the preachers), if not all, are mainly people who can only talk about this and that, about love, faith and all that, but in real life, real situation, critical situation, most of them don't live to the expectation that they always talk about. The church are not sensitive to issues, people's need, not friendly enough to new comers, and so on. Oh well, that's his view which I have to agree to a certain degree when I see my own life. Benerr juga yaa. Hmm ..

A reminder for me, from kitab James: Jangan cuman jadi pendengar (dan omong) doank, tapi jadilah pelaku Firman.

Of course as a Christian, I still live in this world with flesh and blood, with sinful nature. Christians will fail and we can't do it perfectly, but thank God that God doesn't see me my sins, but God sees Jesus in me and justify me to be righteous before Him. Thank God, since none of us would and could live up to God's standard anyway.

Having that truth in our mind, well, still other people are watching over us Christians. All of them are LOOKING, WATCHING, and STARRING at us. They watch us everyday whether we like it or not, since we are carrying our Father's name. We are called to be witnesses wherever we are. Our calling is to be witnesses that glorify our Father's name, so that His name might be known.

When I see my own lives, hmm, I am so far far far far far away from what I claim to be, the child of God. Thank God for Jesus, but that's not a good excuse for me to live as I want to ...

*God I pray please give me strength and wisdom to live wisely as Your child*

life without computer

The title really summarizes my life in this past couple of days. Yes, my computer at home suddenly switched off and it's being checked by one shop at kingsford now. I think there is some problems with either the motherboard or the graphic card, but yeah I still don't know exactly what the problem is. Maybe I need to upgrade to a better one? It's gonna cost me a fortune though since I'm planning to buy a new computer as well.

Lately, been struggling at work, especially late last week. I was feeling a bit tired and didn't work to the best that I should .. Today was better I think. I put a reminder on my PC using a software for posting notes in PC to work as if I'm doing it for God. It's taken from collosians 3. That works i think .. hehehe .. Realize If I don't have that attitude, can't really become a blessing to my work mates ...

Had a good yum cha branch with Ronny and friends at silver spring ... As you know, I ate quite a lot of sio may, dkk lah ... it was yummmm ... and the dessert (semangka + kolang-kaling) WOWWW, lezaaat sekaleeee .. ^^ .. Heheheh .. During the branch, Ryan, monnie, I, Agung and Alex had a little conversation ... Basically kita coba ajakin mrk2 ke pemuda ... The funny thing is si Agung try to ajakin kita ke persekutuan Doa .. Hmmmm ... I told them that I already have too many things to do at church, Rabu PA, Sabtu half-day di pemuda, Minggu pagi, belum kalo ada bible study preparation and practice for Sunday Night, not including the meetings for retreat, inti, etc. I don't think I can handle it if I come to Friday night juga ... Need to spend time on other things juga, like with my bro Jun, and do other stuffs ... Oh well, that's how I feel anyway .. So I said to them, kayaknya kita kebanyakan kebaktian deh ... hehehe .. so wherever u r terpanggil, setialah disana ... build one another up in that fellowship .. I guess if i can compare with MRI, they only have one umum and one pemuda on Sunday only. The rest is only sport activities and gatherings ...

I heard today that Sianty is currently in labour. Olalaaaa ... She told me before (sambil bergurau) that she wants to wait until 1 July to get allowance from the government .. hehehe ... But well, it's God's time ya ga bisa apa2 lagi .. But I guess she also agrees with that ^^ Well, I was excited about the news... I really really hope anaknya lahir dengan sehat lah ya, and sianty nya and ferry nya juga sehat2 aja ... *hmm, bakal kayak ferry atau sianty, cowo atau cewe, namanya bakalan apa, beratnya berapa* hahahah, so many questions .. They all will be revealed soon .. ^^

Work at uni is starting soon .. It's been put on hold for two weeks now, since my supervisor is away. Fiuh, gonna get real busy i think. I still help my supervisor in his research on a part-time basis .. It's good since I can work on my own time as long as it achieves what he wants to achieve ... It's been going on for a few months now ..

Oh well .. today I phoned a friend who just had exam .. it seems to be a hard exam ... I guess it's exam time for many church friends these days ... Pray that God will give those who are having exam and assignments the wisdom and courage to do them and accept whatever result that they may get later ..

In the meantime, really2 berharap computer cepetan dibenerin... Hahahhaha

Post long weekend

Long weekend seemed not far away behind and here I am, caught up in the busyness of life. Really enjoyed the lunch at Yoppie's place on monday. The food was great, the fellowship even better ... Can't thank God enough for that .... Thanks to Yoppie, Cicil (the hosts) and everyone yg dateng ..

Tuesday, I got excited by the possibility of watching live soccer euro match after a few months without soccer match. Yeah, I rarely watch soccer match these days, since my television is not good at receiving signal ... I've tried many things from digital setup box, connecting the antenna to VCR to boost the power, buying a really good antenna, but nothing seems to work. Anyway .. I'll be watching the game from vic lay's place. So on Tuesday night, I stayed at his place with Ken and Hans in order to watch the game on the following day (Wednesday morning). It was a good game. I supported Germany on that game, since Hans, Freddy and Ken went for Holland. hahahah ... just for the sake of making it fun and interesting .. I have never been a fan for any team or club .. anything that is worth watching is fine by me ... I could get passionate during the soccer game, but yeah, it's just me trying to enjoy the game and make the most out of it .. It was a pretty good game .. Germany scored first and Holland scored in the dying minute .. 1-1

Wednesday morning after the game, I went straight to office for work ... Had Krispy Cream doughnut for breakfast *yummmm* .. As usual wednesday is a bible study day for me ... Had BMB (Bible Means Business) during lunch with Hans and Derek ... Erwin also brought some of his friends .. At night, I had another bible study at bondi junction ... It was Muri's turn to lead and she did it really well ...

One thing that I plan to do in my bible study in 3 weeks time is to have an "Evangelize to one another" session(s), since we are learning about the book of acts which is about God's unstoppable mission to spread the Gospel to reach the end of the earth. Everyone in bible study will basically learn the way to evangelize to people, what is the core message of christianity (the GOOD NEWS) and at the same time, we tried to come up with the many many questions, hard ones, that people usually ask us ... Each individual in the bible study will be assigned some questions in order for them to do some research and present the answer at the same time. It will be interesting .. hehehe .. people got excited yesterday ... As for me, need to do research in the topic of evangelism, e.g. multi-cultural evangelism, etc etc.

Btw, it's been a week since my brother went back to indo ... fiuh .. kind of miss him .. Jun, if you are reading, cepetan balik ya .. heheheh ...

Didn't feel quite well on Wednesday, as for today I'm feeling a lot better .. hopefully ga sakit aja .. *pls God pls God*, jangan sampe sakit ..