The worst feeling

One of the worst feeling that people may have is the feeling of not being acknowledged by the group where he/she belongs to. You might be in the same group, doing the same thing, but the acknowledgement is just not there to grasp ... One of the cause is probably the inability to have the same mindset or knowledge as most people in the group ....

When faced with this kind of situation, there are basically 2 things we could do ...
1. Just shrink back and let that feeling of insecurity takes over
2. Realized that it is just part of life, even Jesus had to endure this during his life, and fight your way up ...

Which way will I choose?

No guts no glory

Hari ini aku decided utk pergi ke pemuda service. Pertamanya sih ga mau pergi, abis banyak banget essay yang due next week ... big ones!! Mann! I am doomed, tapi gara2 hari ini tugas main music, I had to go ... Tapi setelah pertamanya ngerasa setengah hati, I decided to give it a go. Tadi mikir kalo udah decide pergi, at least be there 100% gituuu ... So I did that and I had an encouraging time.

Ga tau kebetulan atau ngga, tadi Firman Tuhan juga menegur myself to run a good race, setting our heart on the things above and fix our eyes on Jesus. Well, akhir2 ini seriiiiiing banget miss out on saat teduh and other things soalnya busy banget sihhhh!!

And now, I have to go back to my essays. Got three big essays that I must finish before the ened of next week. Mannnnnn!! ..... so busyyyy!!

innocence

I am sending you out like sheep among wolves. Therefore be as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves.

How can we do this? How should we apply this statement in real life?

Omedeto VicBas and Lydia

Congrats to Vic bas and Lydia for their wedding yesterday.

Pesan dari ex flatmates 1/381 Anzac Parade Kingsford: Put God as #1 and humbly serve one another. Last but not least: beranak cuculah dan penuhilah Sydney.

Omedeto!

Random updates

• My birthday this year makes me feel that I am surrounded by good friends and families ... I received lots and lots of messages, phone calls and wishes from friends and families ... There were also small surprise parties, which is sweet ... As one of my friend said, one year older means wiser .. :)
• I am very inspired by one Japanese movie that I watch (Gokusen) .... It is about a teacher whose relationship with her students is very close ... Lots of funny and touching stories ... It's really really really cool ... even I cried watching it .. hehehe ... recommended to watch ...
• I learnt this past year that whenever bad things happen, I should learn to stand up on my own feet and walk again ... That's life ... Never run away from problem and always overcome my fear boldly ... Fight and stand up like a man! :)
• I've just got a new job in the city ... The company I will work for is a financial software companies which sells software to big banks such as westpac and CBA .. I'll be working closely with my close friend at uni ... I am hoping to get more exposure in the financial world, hopefully this new job gives me just that ... It will also help me to save school fee coz I can get some back from tax deduction ... yuhuu ... The sad thing is I have to leave my current company ... I am sure they will manage though ....
• Victor (my ex flatmate) and Lydia's wedding is approaching really fast ... I am happy for them ... Wishing that they will enjoy one another's company in the Lord ... and always put the partner above him/herself ..
• I feel that I don't do as well as my friends in my course at the moment .. I don't know whether it is a factor of me working and studying full time or it's just me not used to making essays for assignments or my friends are really smarties people ... I feel I can be be good at computing, maths and science subjects but not so in commerce subjects .... Well, the good thing is that my attitude to school and uni has changed considerably since last time I did my undergrad .. I feel school is not so much about mark/grade .. Yes, mark is important and I should try to do well, but the most important thing is to be able to learn something and use whatever I have in me to apply that in my own style .... I feel at ease and do not feel any pressure at all even though most of my friends are doing better than me so far .. :) ... cheer up di! I will just do what I can ... Yosshhh!!!!
• Bible study 2 ways to live has almost finished ... I am hoping that my fellow members grow in love, godliness and in knowledge of God. I sometimes wonder if I am any better compared to other leaders/former leaders .. But it is stupid really ... I should not think like that and I should just do what I can .... Next is Romans, really looking forward to that ....

Jun, my little bro

This entry is dedicated to Jun, my little brother...

I personally want to thank God for Jun because:
1. Of his patience towards me all these years .. dia jauuuhhh lebih sabar dari me ..... jempoll
2. enak sering dipijitin .. hehe .. apalagi kalo abis pulang kerja ...
3. His humour always enlighten me everytime gua BT ...
4. He seems to be able to read my mind - strange but true ...
5. He is always one of those people who miss me the most when I am away .. waktu masih kecil n gua tinggal ke malang, dia nangis berhari2 sampe berminggu2 ... how sweet bangettt ...
6. He is the one yg know almost all my secrets ... I can tell him almost anything since he is not prejudice ...
7. Great advisor on love matters ... hehhee ... true true .. he counsels many of his friends believe it or not ....
8. He came to Australia and starting to know more about Jesus and his salvation ... This last one is the one I am most grateful of ...

**God, please continue to work in him .. May he know you, the true and only God ... May His love for you grow day by day as he also loves his friends, families and even his enemies ... **

Mengertikah

Hari demi hari dilalui
sibuk sibuk dan sibuk
tak ada waktu untuk ini dan itu
terasa cepat tak kunjung berhenti

Hari demi hari tugas menanti
Jarang bercakap cakap lagi
Banyak yang tak paham
Seminggu tak bertemu, sebulan tak bersua
Seratus tahun tak terasa sudah

Kalau saja bisa baca isi hati
Pasti baca dengan rajin
Kan dicari sampai ketemu
Diraih dengan seluruh tenaga

Mengertikah..................................?

Banyak hal tak kupahami
Dalam masa menjelang
Tapi trang bagiku ini
Tangan Tuhan yang pegang

2 Timothy 2:1 - Therefore my dear son, be strong in the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Proverbs 24:1 - If you falter in times of trouble, how small is your strength!

The Heavenly Man book quote #1

Before I travelled to the West I had absolutely no idea that so many churches were spiritually asleep. I presumed the Western church was strong and vibrant because it had brought the gospel to my country with such incredible faith and tenacity. Many missionaries had shown a powerful example to us by laying down their lives for the sake of Jesus.

On Some occasions I've struggled while speaking in Western churches. There seems to be something missing that leaves me feeling terrible inside. Many meetings are cold and lack the fire and presence of God that we have in China.

In the West many Christians have an abundance of material possesions, yet they live in a backslidden state. They have silver and gold, but they don't rise up and walk in Jesus' name. In China we have no possessions to hold us down, so there's nothing preventing us from moving out for the Lord. The Chinese church is like Peter at the Beautiful Gate. When he saw the crippled beggar he said, "Silver or gold I do not have, but what I have I give you. In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, walk!" Acts 3:6

In a similar way, I pray that God might use the Chinese church to help the Western church rise up and walk in the power of the Holy Spirit. It's almost impossible for the church in China to go to sleep in its present situation. There's always something to keep us on the run, and it's very difficult to sleep while you're running. If persecution stops, I fear we'll become complacent and fall asleep.

References:
Brother Yun with Paul Hattaway, The Heavenly Man p.295-296m, Monarch Books, 2004.

A bet!

I made a bet last night with Jun ... If he stops playing game for two months, I will do the same thing by not downloading new animes (or even watch if he wants to) for two months as well ...

The point is not to limit his gaming time at all, but I am convinced that he is at a point of can not stop now (just like people can not stop smoking or drinking coffee) ... Wasting time on game too much is so stupid!! It is disrespectful to the ONE who give the time .... I do not gain anything from this bet ... nothing at all ... In fact I won't watch my lovely animes for two months until June ... How sad can that be? :(

Am I a dictator? and a book I am reading

This morning I was called a DICTATOR sama Jun sambil joking2 gitu lah ... It made me think whether I have that dictator character in me? hehehe ... maybe I do have it ...

On my way to north sydney I was reading a book called Heavenly man which tells a story about a person called Yun who is badly persecuted in China for preaching the gospel ... During the reading, many times I compared his situation and mine ... so different ... Here I can go to church, read the bible as much as I want to, and yet many times I am lazy at memorizing God's word, did not appreciate the opportunity in sharing the gospel .. , did not have the HEART to share it ... Indonesia might be a different story though .. My mum has warned me several times not to go to church in indo caused many people are anti-christian and there are many bombs targeted at the Church of God ... but Indonesia is still much better than what Yun experienced in China ... so cruel, treated like animals and yet God worked marvelously through him to bring the gospel to Chinese people ... Many miracles, unthinkables happen during his ministry but it was followed by great persecution and sufferings .. It is just like what happened in Acts to the apostles and early churches .... I can draw many similarities between the two stories .... I am about half-way reading the book now and can not wait to read more ...

2 Timothy 3:12
In fact, everyone who wants to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted

Outing

Aduhhh .. outing hari ini fun bangetttt ... pagi2 kita berangkat jam 9 dari kingsford ke national kuringgai park ... sesampai disono, we were a bit dissapointed sih, soalnya ujan gitu .... but suddenly the sun just showed his bright face, thank God .. We then proceeded with the plan, which is to have an ice breaking games .. There were quite a number of new people came, which is good ... The game was followed by bush walking for about an hour, lunch (nasi goreng java) and canoeing .... Overall it was fun

until ...............

There was an argument between X and Y when we've finished canoeing, which ends up with X punching Y in the face ... Not many people saw it, but me, Jun, Niki and Viki saw that incidents ... I didn't know what happened and was sort of confused coz I did not see the whole thing .. I heard that X said some rude words towards Y and one second after that "PUNCH" ... I tried asking both parties what happened and concluded that Y did not deserve the punch that he got ... I am pissed of with X ... REALLY pissed off ... even now ... how DARE he hitting my other friend?

Bazaar and random updates!

IPC, my home church in Sydney just had a bazaar today. There were about 8 food/drink stalls, baloon and face painting stall, video game and auction. There were probably around 500-750 people turned up all together, pretty good for doing it the first time. Well, I spent quite a lot of money on food (as expected, hehehe) and helped out a bit in auction and grocery stall. I really hope that we will reach the financial target that we are aiming for buying the new church at kingsford. Our church has just bought a new building at kingsford and we are still short about $80,000 in total.

Uni wise, it is getting really busy ... wondering whether I will have time to do anything else at all ... I am going to do lots of reading this evening since tomorrow I'll be going to kuringgai national park canoeing and bush walking .. It might be my last outing of the year .. really don't want to miss it ... Big quiz, essay, team debate, ERP projects are next in my diary ... It's a lot of work ... I'm just hoping for the best ... I missed a couple of morning devotion last week ... really bad bad bad ... It was a bit of a mess coz I had a quiz and essay due last week plus easter ... Should've managed my time better ...

Had a chit chat with my friends from Yogya, Y and F, yesterday night after pemuda dinner ... We talked about this and that until we arrived at the usual topic ... what else other than BGR (Boy Girl Relationship) .. :) ... Apparently Y is just like me, never had a girl friend before ... I knew that ... but F has had 2 relationships already ... So we shared lah ... until very late .. hahahaha .. it's always a good laugh with those two ... What shocked me the most was the situation in Yogya ... Not like what I imagined ... Heard that the girl there is so different to Sydney ... very agressive .. hehehe .. F said, in sydney there is no/rare communication between boys and girls .. tiba2 aja jadian langsung ... main belakang kali .. :) ... one day bisa ngobrol enak, the next minute udah kayak ga kenal aja ... Kalo di Yogya it's very different ... cewe ajak kenalan cowo di mall udah biasa .. cowok juga sebaliknya ... Tapi negativenya ya selingkuh ratenya tinggi ... hahahah .. F said kalo mau cari yg berkualitas ya di sydney aja ... di Yogya udah jarang katanya ....

In terms of personality, akhir2 ini kayaknya bisa dibilang me rada hyper deh .. outgoing personality nya keluar ... I am not in any kind of pressure other than sekolah and kerja which I quite enjoy ...

There's actually many things happen to me these days ... exciting things in work and other things .. It's just that malesss banget nulis di blog ... hahaha .. Thank God .. He is good sih .. in good times or bad times ...

looking for somethin' in life?

Wah.. It's been so long since I update my blog ... Anyway, this entry is inspired by the songs di drama easter ... enak .. t-o-p-b-g-t .. Dikarang ama jenny melody nya plus lyrics by Inggrid kalo ga salah ... Jempol 100x to both of u .. :)

It's about someone yg looking for the meaning of life ... Looking but never find ... the true way ... Only in Jesus you can find the way ... I dare to say that my life, your life, everybody in this world is created with God as the center of our life.. We will never find meaning everywhere else ... NEVER !!!! You can go up as high as the sky and down as deep as the sea ... you will never find the life the way and the truth except in Jesus who has loved us ..

Don't look too far .. Jesus is closer than you think He is ... Find him now .. Happy easter everyone ^o^

Three Main Value-Adding Activities: Ministry, Study and Work :-)

My life has been revolving around those three things in the last couple of weeks. There is not much time spent for doing other things. Try my best to balance my life, getting enough sleep, not neglecting other things that are much more important than my study.

Yes, I decided to do master course this year and hoping to finish by the end of next year. Even though it is hard, I really enjoy it so far .. In the course, I learnt so many different things, concepts, practical stuffs .. They design and restructure the course very differently to last year. All of the core subjects that all commerce students must undertake are very interesting ... reallyy ... It is just so practical, makes a lot of sense, useful and serve the purpose of laying the foundation for things to come in the course.

Why I decided to do master is still a bit of a mystery to me ... I've thought about it for a long time ... I've shared this with a couple of friends, but only late last year I had come to a decision to further my study ... It was a factor of there is a possibility for me of going back to indonesia, lots of spare time after work and wanting to learn about economics/commerce that make me decide to do master course. I've also been working for 2 years (1 year as a Research Assistant and 1 year at Holocentric) and feel it's just the right time for me to continue my study (enough savings to pay for the fee and my living cost) ... There is also other factors which is ministry at pemuda has come to a point where there will be new inti serving for the next term. It doesn't mean I don't minister to my christian brothers and sisters anymore, but I will be focusing more on bible study and music rather than doing administration as a member of the youth committee ...

It has been really good SO FAR, but who knows what will happen down the track ... For now I just hope to finish this as soon as possible ...

James 4:13-17
13Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.” 14Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. 15Instead, you ought to say, “If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that.” 16As it is, you boast and brag. All such boasting is evil. 17Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn't do it, sins.

Playing game, not good if too much

These days, jun play game too much ... I usually tell him directly or indirectly not to do that ...
I really want to spend more time talking to him .... Really really want to ... When I got home he always play game .. I don't have that many chance to actually talk to him .. man to man talk you know .. ^^ .. I opted not to tell him anymore .. I've told him many times already ... time for patience now I guess ...

above $100,000 salary?

I met with my uni friend yesterday. He is indian and apparently working for one of the top bank in Australia. We talked about many things including work and investment. We talked about that since he told me a story that he had lost quite a lot of money in the stock market ($65,000 out of his own pocket money) and I was interested in that since I am going to do finance this year.

Well, I was wondering where he got the money from that he could invest hundreds of thousand of dollar even though he graduated at the same year as I did. I asked him more about his work and all that. Apparently he started working since he was 2nd year at uni. It was quite extraordinary that he managed to work full time and doing computer engineering course full time. In the end he told me that his salary these days is around $105,000. It used to be $150,000 he said. And wow ... I was so ... how to describe it ... shocked ... BIG SHOCK ATTACK! It's not funny ... :)

Suddenly this jealousy entered my heart and mind. How come this guy get that much of a salary even though he graduated on the same year as I did? It's not fair ... I was jealous yesterday, REALLY JEALOUS OF HIM .. Imagine what I could do with $150,000 salary? *I will fall into greed and love of money I think*. I tried not to show that I was shock in hearing his story.

I came home .. I sat on my bed ... thinking about it ... ponder about his situation and my situation. It was not really appropriate for me to be jealous ... Now that I think about it, it was a sin to think that God's blessing in my life now as NOT ENOUGH. It is funny on how you can be thankful to God one day and the next day you just feel as though God has not blessed you with all that you need. Sinful people like me always need reminder that His grace is enough. YES, IT IS ENOUGH. He has given His Son Jesus, what more can you askkkkkk??? It is enough. I am much more luckier than him since I know the true and only God.

But the question remains, I always feel confused about the topic of contentment. I feel that to be content can bring you to a static non-progressing life. Being content may mean (not always) that you are opposed to changes in life, You always feel that you've had enough even though you can do better or should do better at work/school/business/ministry. How do you balance between the two, contentment and achieving? I am confused since I am inclined to think that content person is most likely more lazy than people who actively seeking things.

Paul in one of his letter says to slave, if you have a chance to be freed, take it. The question is should the slave feel content as a slave or should he seek actively for his freedom? If he seeks for it does it mean he is not content with his life? The bible teaches us to seek and be content. How do you balance between the two? My thinking now is that seek in the bible is related to the kingdom of God and all its righteousness. Being content is related to things of this world, the blessings that God has given us. We have to be content with God's blessing since no matter how hard you work it all comes from Him.

Any opinion?

Kenapa ya?

Feeling tired today at work .... well I don't really know why .... maybe last night did not have enough sleep .... and pressure are building up at work !! There are too many things in which I am involved at work, church and uni at the moment ....

Anyway I better manage my time more effectively .. One at a time di!!!!

Gile

I slept so early last night .. 8PM .. kecapean banget .. and now (4AM) can't sleep anymore ... hahahha ... Help!!

Happy Chinese New Year

Gong Xie Fat Chai to all that celebrate! :) .. Around my age I don't get the red envelope (ang pao) and I don't give one since I haven't got married yet .. Boring!! hehehe

Thank u God

Don't feel like posting anything, just want to say thank you to God. Thinking back on how I became a Christians, counting all his blessings, the ups and the not so up times, all the fun moments, struggle moments really overwhelms me. If not because of Jesus, I wouldn't be here and I won't be what I am now.

I want to do some fun exercise. Want to count God's blessings in my life since I am a baby. Hehehehe ... Well, of course there are too many to count, but I will try my best anyway ...
Blessings:

1. Thank God that I was born .. yuhuu .. Hello world!!
2. Thank God for mum and dad who raised me with all love and care. They are not perfect parents, but I know that they love me soooo much.
3. Thank God that I was not so healthy when I was a kid. That way my parents had a chance to show their love for me and I can get really close to them too.
4. Thank God for all the fun holidays that we had together as a family
5. Thank God that I have a lovely brother, Jun. He has always been the one that understand me better than my parents or friends.
6. Thank God for my mum who is always there when I needed help in anything.
7. Thank God for papa yg sabarrrr dan teliti bangettt ... a calm factor in my life.
8. Thank God for mama and papa yg always work so hard just to provide me with the necessities in life. All the tears that they shed, all the sweats and hard work, really appreciate it. They are very brave parents and ulettt banget .. Kagum kagum ..
9. Thank God that I had lots of fun when I was a kid. Watched cartoon, played video games, played with friends and many things ... wow .. PUASSS BANGET POKOKNYA !!! hehehe ...
10. Thank God for my sunday school teacher .. what a great work that you did for God!
11. Thank God that I had a chance to get "0 DUCK" in one of my test during primary school. Once in a lifetime experience .. hehehe ... I cried a lot at that time since I am not used to that. Masih inget booo sampe sekarang!
12. Thank God for all my friends in Bondowoso!! Made some really2 close friends whom I still keep in contact until now.
13. Thank God that I had a chance to go to malang for junior high.
14. Thank God that I was becoming somewhat naughty on my first year of junior high, so that God's grace were shown more abundantly when I got to know Him the following year.
15. Thank God that I move place the following year and met my friends who introduced me to Christianity.
16. Thank God that I believed in Jesus on my second year of Junior High .. YUHUUU!!
17. Thank God that I experienced a lot of opposition from my family after that. It made me stronger and long for Jesus' return even more.
18. Thank God for all the struggles that I had to bear on that year and the following year. Fights with parents, all the tensions, and tears .. It was so hardddd!!!!! still is !
19. Thank God for all my friends in Malang ... I really enjoyed being with them and cherished the fun moments that we had together ...
20. Thank God for all the fun times at school in malang .. Hahahha .. so many memories ... From studying, makan rame2, makan bakso, nasi duk2, all the restaurants, pinjem2 buku kalo lagi mau ujian, visiting kost cewe rame2, jalan2 sore naik sepeda/sepeda motor, ngejahilin guru, funny friends/teachers, belajar bersama, POR (Pekan Olah Raga)-> juara tarik tambang, and so on !! Seru deh !!
21. Thank God for my church in Malang (GPdI Hebron) .. It started with a small church but it has people with a full dedication to God. The people really loved God with all their hearts, always friendly and warm. The church now grows and became a big church though.
22. Thank God for giving me talent to play music (guitar). It grows since I played for remaja at Hebron church. Music is the only art that I am good at apparently .. hahahaha ... I am hopeless in doing ketrampilan ama menggambar ..
23. Thank God for giving me a chance to share the gospel with my friends and ended up loosing my face by not being able to answer my friend's questions about christianity. I was really down at first but after a couple of weeks I was even more motivated to learn about the bible more.
24. Thank God for all the care and attentions that my parents gave me even though I did not live at the same city as them. It's unbelievable really!!! I remember one night that I was sick and asked them to come to malang and they did!! I couldn't believe it myself at that time!
25. Thank God for making me decide to go to Australia after finishing first year High school.
26. Thank God for bringing me to IPCYF through one of my language indo friend (Mike boris bro) at Sydney English Language Center.
27. Thank God for giving me a chance to serve Him in music ministry at IPCYF too.
28. Thank God for my uni friends. None of my close friends are christians. Thank God, because of that, I learnt how to live consciously as a christian. Tried to share, but never succeed though ...
29. Thank God for all the fun times that I had at uni, belajar bareng, di lab, played around with computer chips, played games together, renang bareng, masak2, gathering .. hahaha .. gosh it was fun!!
30. Thank God for giving me a chance to live in International house. Met so many people and broaden my point of view.
31. Thank God that Jun came to Australia - for all the sharing time together - this sort of chances don't come twice in my life - I really cherish having an argument, fight, laughs, and some fun moments together with him in Aussie. Thank God because He gave me a chance to witness through words and deeds about Jesus.
32. Thank God for finishing my school and being able to graduate!! It's a proof of God's providence in my life!
33. Thank God for romantic feelings that I had to some people even though it did not work out for now .. hahaha ... Learnt a lot from those experiences, and really opened my eyes to certain things in life.
34. Thank God for IPCers - you guys helped me grow in my understanding of God. I learnt a lot during fellowship with all of you.
35. Thank God for pemuda, whereby I can learn to encourage and serve one another in Christ.
36. Thank God for all of my bible study groups that I had in the past, for all the leaders (awa, Jimmy Liang, Darwin) and the members. Bible study really made me think seriously about who God is and purpose in life.
37. Thank God for my former flatmates (senior), e.g. vic bas, arie, jeffrey, aliong, for all the sharing time that we had together, about life, God, cewe, ... You guys are awesome!
38. Thank God for all the failures that I had in the past. Through those failures I learn more about life and how I should live as christian better.
39. Thank God for all the successes in my life as well. Through those things I learnt that all things come from God and He alone deserved to be praised.
40. Thank God for today! coz He reminded me about all His goodness in my life.
41. Thank God because He made me stronger day by day. I trust that He will finish His good work in me, making me more like Jesus.
42. Thank God ......... -----------------..........

Banyak bener kannnn!! Ga abis abis dehhhh .. Amin! =)