My chinese name is a girl name? MUMMMMM

Met a new friend today in a class .... Her name is Mei Na ... When she asked my name, I gave her my chinese name since she is from China, why not give her my chinese name ... We needed one minute to spell my name correctly ... :) .. After she figured out what my chinese name really is, she said, "wow, that is a very beautiful name, good meaning but it's for a woman. Shiek Ming yen, shiek ming yen sounds like a girl name, but it has a good meaning" ...

I laughed and laughed and laughed ... and she laughed as well ... so funny ...

Everyday I struggle

I guess feeling a bit tired because of so many things that needs to be done ... I am burned out I guess ... Everyday I struggle to live ..... whether it is at work, ministry, at home, uni ... I feel constant pressure from all directions ...

At home, dissapointed with so many things that I see at home ... there are so many things... like cleaning the room, house, and many other that I can't share here ...
At church, I feel some dissapointments on why no-one actually follow up my flatmates from church .. Why do I have to do it myself? On top of that I have to be strong and encourage other people ... Why do I have to do that?
At work, Pressure from doing one project after another and not being able to stay late because of lecture... I am struggling to tell others about Christ ... struggling to be examples in the way I work and produce results ...
With Uni, So many assignments and exams ... ARGHH!

Well, I came to pemuda today, heard a sermon from Bruce ... What a wonderful sermon ... Not that all my problems are solved after that, but in that sermon I see the big picture of God's grand plan since the beginning to end ...

God from the beginning is longing to have relationship with human ... When he called Abram, Israel, he wants other nations to be blessed through them .. God is longing to make his name known among the nations of the earth .. He longs to have a relationship with us .... That's why we are here on earth .... Hearing that making me feel like gado2 ... I long for that day to happen ... kapan kapan Tuhan? .. I feel joy, and I know that God is the one longing to make his name known among the nations ... Evangelism is God's initiative through us ...

So, having seen the big picture, I should stop complaining ... I wanted to be encouraged when I came to pemuda today, and I did ... knowing that the bottom line ....... at the end of the day ....... when nothing else can help us, It is God (my Father) that matters ..... It is to make His name known and to have a deep relationship with Him ....

So stop complaining and do your work! Be thankful!

Gift suggestion

Does anyone has any good suggestion on what to give for someone that is about to go back to indo for good? I am thinking of giving that person a book..
any recommendation?

My Sunday

2 blog entries in one day is quite rare .. haha .. but there you go ..
Today had a late morning church and followed by drama practice .. I guess I am still learning to act bit by but .. The drama is about passing the warmness/fire of Christ to the people surround us .. It was followed by Aldo's birthday ... He is 18 years old .. hahaha congratulation congrats!! akhirnya dah pass age boleh drink alcohol ? :P

emm ... Had KFC and met so many new friends at aldo's place. Wuih ... they are all so youngggg ..... hahaha ... But I am young too at heart ... Aldo's friends are quite friendly ... Ended up had a few conversations with them ...

Went home, slept for the whole 3 hours until 6.45pm .. hehe ... gubrak* ... Now I have to study ...

Packed saturday

Well, hello again ...
Today was really packed with good stuffs ... I enjoyed bible study and sharing with J about life ... Even though we look like problem-free people from outside, but we have got lots of problems too surprise surprise ... We pray for each other today about problems and surrender them to God who is able to do all things ... I am really encouraged by J's life .. J is very hardworking guy .. He does not play around with time and has sincere heart ... very sincere .. Emm, the thing that encourage me the most is the way he prays and commit his life to Jesus ... I guess I am glad to be learning together about God with him ...

What else yah? Bible study was good ... full with food .. hahaha .. physical food and hopefully the Word of God too .. emm, most people were sleepy today including myself .. Huh .. being bible study leader is hard because you have to motivate people when they are tired or sleepy or not in the mood ... Whereas before, I just slept and couldn't careless about other people ...

Went off to Damon's birthday, had catch up session with a number of people .. Happy birthday Damon .. 20 something huh ? hehehe .. God bless u I guess ... Pray that you grow more godly in the gospel ...

In the meantime, tomorrow is Aldo birthday ... So many birthdays ... aldo is probably a lot younger than me ... He is very open and tells lots of stories whenever we meet ... funny guy, very open unlike me ... apalagi yah? I guess that's all .. tomorrow mesti belajar nih ...

Morning morning!

Had a very good sleep (from 1.30am - 10am) hauhauha .. ... I almost forgot how to sleep well and relax these days ...
Today's schedule:
1. Bible study 12-3PM
2. Latian music for Pemuda 3.30 - 4.30
3. Pemuda 5.00 - 6.30
4. Damon's birthday party (6.30 until who knows)
5. Sleep - or do assignment if I am not tired ...

My life this week!

Life is good .. Thank God ... This week was very busy in terms of work and study (I feel like I am always busy these days). Two of my team mates at work went for holiday, so I end up had to do their works too .. Imagining it really makes me feel *hueekkk*... So many things to do at so little time ... I am afraid of committing to any more things these days ... I just don't have the time and I don't think it will be good for me, and the thing I will be involved in ... I'll just enjoy my life now to the MAX!! :) ..

One lesson that I learnt this week at work is that I don't have to rush in doing my work ... Do everything carefully and pay attention to detail as much as possible ... It is hard because many times I am not very patient with things and I don't pay attention to details as much as I do to the overall big picture ... I usually inclined to finish my work as fast as possible but with average result .. even though I could do much better if I just put little more effort into it ... So yeah, something to learn there ...

What else is happening yah? I guess uni wise I am happy because in every class I have got quite a number of friends ... Friends are no more a problem this semester .. hahaha ..... Forming a team is not difficult at all ... But, I am starting to feel the pressure of exams and assignments ... So, got to start studying A-S-A-P ... The problem is I've got less motivation these days!! haha ..

One thing this week is I met so many old friends from Bondowoso through friendster ... Well, I am so encouraged because God has worked in my friends' life ... They look like a good Christians (through friend's testimonial and the message that I got from them) .. hehehe .. even I got a message saying, "Can you help me with ....... ? But it must be legal yah, we are God's children kan?" .... they are also surprised that I am a christian ... Well, it's just amazing how God changes people's lives ... I'll definitely contact them if I go to Jakarta or Melbourne later...

I also met lots of people at work (some of them are new recruits), there's Katherine, Fenny, and Anton, Anthony, Andrew, Ahn, Penelope, Glenn, Peter, Edward, Hua, Irene, Jane, Suzanne, Bryan, Erik, Suwandi etc ... So much fun, interesting and challenging ... We talked a lot during lunch time and when discussing something at work ... Talking to them everytime always gives me more insights about myself, about other people and the world ... After doing some communication course, I am more aware of how I communicate with others now, my perceptions, etc etc... ^^

Alright ... I guess that's all for me this week .. Just had dinner tonight at Andy's place .. Thank you Leo for organizing the steamboat dinner .. It was niceeeeee! Appreciate it a lot .. Tomorrow is bible study and I have to prepare stuffs .. So, that's it for now! Gnite blog! =)

Ku Bahagia

Just saw some Indonesian movies - bring back memories from masa masa remaja ... lots and lots of memories .. Enjoy the lyrics from Melly (one of the best Indonesian song composer in my generation)

The song is EXCELLENT!! I will definitely sing this in karaoke next time ..

Artist: Melly Goeslow
Song Title: Ku Bahagia
Album:

di atas bumi ini ku berpijak
pada jiwa yang tenang di hariku
tak pernah ada duka yang terlintas
ku bahagia

ingin ku lukis semua hidup ini
dengan cinta dan cita yang terindah
masa muda yang tak pernah kan mendung
ku bahagia

dalam hidup ini
arungi semua cerita indahku
saat-saat remaja yang terindah
tak bisa terulang

ku ingin nikmati
segala jalan yang ada dihadapku
kan kutanamkan cinta tuk kasihku
agar ku bahagia

...

In the quietness of sleepless nights
I offer my prayer to Thee
Life's burdens I surrender
Sins I confess

Acknowledging that You are the One
You are the One
You are the One
The only One that my soul longs for

More of You oh the One
My shepherd You are
Make me holy and humble
In the presence of difficulties and uncertainties

...
...
...
...

Feel old

Don't know why, this past couple of weeks, I've been feeling really old ... Maybe I've grown up? hahaha ...

IPC Retreat 2005

SEPI ... that was my first impression when I heard there is not many people coming to the retreat. I did not have big expectation, being my normal self, went along with the flow. The theme of the retreat was mainly about being Christ's disciples: Walking with Jesus, live for Jesus.

Got a little excited on my way to Merroo convention centre, knowing that I will be in the same room as Hans, Andy, David Liu, Aldo, Freddy, Yudi, and Leo. I felt comfortable with some of them already and since I was not a room leader this time, I could relax a bit. I thought I will get to know some new people like freddy and yudi which is from Malang ... how good is that?

First night, I could not sleep .. There was too much noise in the room and I slept pretty late anyway :). I woke up pretty early and took early shower. The morning devotion was very good and hans led the devotion since he was the room leader. After that I headed straight to breakfast and session.

The first session was AMAZING .. We had to share in a group .. I was sort of leading the discussion, since no one took initiatives ... but the amazing thing was tante Hung2 and om David and Gaby Tjeng and everyone in the group. We had to share our struggle being Christ's disciple and pray for one another. Man, how God worked through that sharing ... I was seriously felt encouraged ...

Second session, I was so sleepy after playing basketball during the break.

The third session was good sermon and that night I slept having so many things in my mind, renewing my commitment to God about prayer and other things. Overall the kotbah was EXCELLENT ... praise God ... lots of application and follow through clear outline ... I guess the speaker is so experienced and love God ... He is concerned with young people's spiritual matters and he is so good even if I do not know him personally ...

Fourth and Fifth sessions were also very good ... I enjoyed the sermon series in the retreat very much .. When was the last time I enjoyed sermon? huh ... not lately I think ...

Got to know some new friends and come to think of it now, it was worth going ... Now, I just have to be discipline in the commitment that I made to God ...

Last advice from my ethics tutor

This is a little story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody.

There was an important job to be done and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it.

Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it.

Somebody got angry about that because it was Everybody's job.

Everybody thought that Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn't do it.

It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done.



Go forth and communicate!
Good luck!

noa@...

All things

Verse:
Every thing that we see
Every thing that we can touch
All things that we have
All wealth, all possession, and pow'r
Belong to our God

Chorus:
Naked we came
Naked we will depart
All glory to our God

Born with nothing
We'll bring none when we die
All glory to our God

Saying No / Yes to someone you respect

Personally, I feel it is hard to say NO, especially to someone close to you or someone that you respect. Some friends these days told me that I have a choleric personality in me. I don't think I even had this personality a few years ago.

At times when I am being choleric, I am turned into someone who strives to lead and be in control of things. I will say a big NO without any hesitation if I feel that's the right answer, and can be nasty too sometimes. The problem is, there is also the other side of me which does not want to dissapoint others. After that, conflict usualy arises within me and I think about it more at night when I am alone (post decision syndrome?) hehehe ..

Well, I had to say a big NO to someone I respect today, not because I don't want to help but I want to concentrate on other things at the moment and just don't have the time to help. Imagine my normal schedule for a week:

- Fulltime work 9-5.30 from Monday to Friday
- 3 nights of master course lectures
- do some reading and assignments during the week
- Saturday: bible study in the afternoon, followed by music practice and youth fellowship
- Sunday: church in the morning and followed by bible study preparation until 12.

Frankly speaking, I only have my rest on Sunday afternoon for the whole days. I just had to say NO or I won't be much help either and will even dissapoint more in the end.

Perceptions about God

One friend once told me this

• Friend(F): I heard in the bible God took away one person's wife and kill his children just to test if the guy is really faithful to Him and discuss it with Satan. That's really unfair and unjust.
  
• (I): Well, God is God and He can do whatever He likes. Our life is made and belongs to Him.
  
• (F): I wouldn't want to worship that kind of God even though in the end, I heard God gave the man a new children and wealth. Why would I? He is not just at all ..
  

• (F): It does not make sense to me that we are sinful because of our parents' sin and granparents' sins. Why am I sinful because of Eve? What do you think about a 'baby'? Is the baby sinful too? NO .. No way that is the case ..
  
• (I): We are sinful not because of our parents' sin. Sin entered the world through adam and eve, but we are sinful because we reject God and say to God: I don't need you.
• (F): Well, still don't understand, whatevaaa.
  

• (F): If there is a God why doesn't he come down and show himself to everyone and to me?
• (I): yes He did, 2000 years ago in the person of Jesus.
  
• (F): Oh in ancient time yes. Then I suggest he does that more often, maybe every 500 years. Don't be so lazy.

• (F): What are you praying for?
• (I): I say thanks for the meal
• (F): Emm, do you think if you don't work you can still eat like this?
• (I): No, but I believe that God is in control of everything. My work comes from God too.
• (F): Well, that's just stupid. God does not have anything to do with it, why should I pray to a God that does not contribute to this meal?
• (F): Well I don't believe in any religion. I think people misuse religion to have control over other people. I am in control of myself now.
  

• (F): So you are a christian aren't you? *giving some weird look in the eyes* .. Interesting ...
  

• (I): So what is it that you believe in?
• (F): I believe in myself. I control everything. If I want something, I buy it. I don't need a God to give me that. I am god.
• (I): Well, if you say that man is a god to himself, it is obvious that we do not have control over many things in life. That cannot be true.
  
• (F): I believe that in this life I should work hard if I want something. I like money, girls, and I don't think God has anything to do with it. You should work hard to get them and at the same time enjoy life. It is stupid to thank a God ....

Yayyy!! No more exam and evening classes

Fiuhhh ... at last .. I just finished my last exam today ... I think it went alright .... No more evening classes sounds really good .. hehe ... enjoying my life to the fullest ...

Relationship conceptualised

Relationship is like a cycle of love and trust:

• First it starts with love and trust .. Trust enables you to share life freely without fear ..
  

• It needs lots of courage to even start a relationship ... Trusting/loving people opens up a door to get hurt, because people is people. People is bound to hurt one another ...
  

• This is where love comes in ... Love forgives and is powerful enough to rebuild trust ..
  

• and so on and so on ....
  

**Endless cycle of love and trust**

**Falling deeper and deeper in love with someone,**
**we will be hurt more and more **

**Even so people still will still fall in love right?**

2 down .. one to go

2 exams down, 1 to go ... I wish this will be over soon .. The last one will be pretty hard though ..

First exam tomorrow

Well, here I am sitting in front of my PC and about to sleep .. My head is spinning around .. It hurts!!! and I am going to sit in my first master course exam tomorrow ... How do I best describe my feeling right now .. I think I just want it to be over soon ... That's all I ask ....

Last night I had a dream about me sitting in the exam, forgetting to bring important materials and ended up doing badly in the exam ... I hope it is just a dream ... Right now I just want to get some nap ... My head, my eyes, my neck, my body, everything feel sore ....

Yoshhh!! Exam .. Bring it on!!!

Today ... I switch my mood to exam mood ... I feel like I am going to war and so pumped up that I want to win so badly ... hehehe ... Pray for me that I may use my time wisely these 2 weeks ... !!!!!