My life this week!

Life is good .. Thank God ... This week was very busy in terms of work and study (I feel like I am always busy these days). Two of my team mates at work went for holiday, so I end up had to do their works too .. Imagining it really makes me feel *hueekkk*... So many things to do at so little time ... I am afraid of committing to any more things these days ... I just don't have the time and I don't think it will be good for me, and the thing I will be involved in ... I'll just enjoy my life now to the MAX!! :) ..

One lesson that I learnt this week at work is that I don't have to rush in doing my work ... Do everything carefully and pay attention to detail as much as possible ... It is hard because many times I am not very patient with things and I don't pay attention to details as much as I do to the overall big picture ... I usually inclined to finish my work as fast as possible but with average result .. even though I could do much better if I just put little more effort into it ... So yeah, something to learn there ...

What else is happening yah? I guess uni wise I am happy because in every class I have got quite a number of friends ... Friends are no more a problem this semester .. hahaha ..... Forming a team is not difficult at all ... But, I am starting to feel the pressure of exams and assignments ... So, got to start studying A-S-A-P ... The problem is I've got less motivation these days!! haha ..

One thing this week is I met so many old friends from Bondowoso through friendster ... Well, I am so encouraged because God has worked in my friends' life ... They look like a good Christians (through friend's testimonial and the message that I got from them) .. hehehe .. even I got a message saying, "Can you help me with ....... ? But it must be legal yah, we are God's children kan?" .... they are also surprised that I am a christian ... Well, it's just amazing how God changes people's lives ... I'll definitely contact them if I go to Jakarta or Melbourne later...

I also met lots of people at work (some of them are new recruits), there's Katherine, Fenny, and Anton, Anthony, Andrew, Ahn, Penelope, Glenn, Peter, Edward, Hua, Irene, Jane, Suzanne, Bryan, Erik, Suwandi etc ... So much fun, interesting and challenging ... We talked a lot during lunch time and when discussing something at work ... Talking to them everytime always gives me more insights about myself, about other people and the world ... After doing some communication course, I am more aware of how I communicate with others now, my perceptions, etc etc... ^^

Alright ... I guess that's all for me this week .. Just had dinner tonight at Andy's place .. Thank you Leo for organizing the steamboat dinner .. It was niceeeeee! Appreciate it a lot .. Tomorrow is bible study and I have to prepare stuffs .. So, that's it for now! Gnite blog! =)

Ku Bahagia

Just saw some Indonesian movies - bring back memories from masa masa remaja ... lots and lots of memories .. Enjoy the lyrics from Melly (one of the best Indonesian song composer in my generation)

The song is EXCELLENT!! I will definitely sing this in karaoke next time ..

Artist: Melly Goeslow
Song Title: Ku Bahagia
Album:

di atas bumi ini ku berpijak
pada jiwa yang tenang di hariku
tak pernah ada duka yang terlintas
ku bahagia

ingin ku lukis semua hidup ini
dengan cinta dan cita yang terindah
masa muda yang tak pernah kan mendung
ku bahagia

dalam hidup ini
arungi semua cerita indahku
saat-saat remaja yang terindah
tak bisa terulang

ku ingin nikmati
segala jalan yang ada dihadapku
kan kutanamkan cinta tuk kasihku
agar ku bahagia

...

In the quietness of sleepless nights
I offer my prayer to Thee
Life's burdens I surrender
Sins I confess

Acknowledging that You are the One
You are the One
You are the One
The only One that my soul longs for

More of You oh the One
My shepherd You are
Make me holy and humble
In the presence of difficulties and uncertainties

...
...
...
...

Feel old

Don't know why, this past couple of weeks, I've been feeling really old ... Maybe I've grown up? hahaha ...

IPC Retreat 2005

SEPI ... that was my first impression when I heard there is not many people coming to the retreat. I did not have big expectation, being my normal self, went along with the flow. The theme of the retreat was mainly about being Christ's disciples: Walking with Jesus, live for Jesus.

Got a little excited on my way to Merroo convention centre, knowing that I will be in the same room as Hans, Andy, David Liu, Aldo, Freddy, Yudi, and Leo. I felt comfortable with some of them already and since I was not a room leader this time, I could relax a bit. I thought I will get to know some new people like freddy and yudi which is from Malang ... how good is that?

First night, I could not sleep .. There was too much noise in the room and I slept pretty late anyway :). I woke up pretty early and took early shower. The morning devotion was very good and hans led the devotion since he was the room leader. After that I headed straight to breakfast and session.

The first session was AMAZING .. We had to share in a group .. I was sort of leading the discussion, since no one took initiatives ... but the amazing thing was tante Hung2 and om David and Gaby Tjeng and everyone in the group. We had to share our struggle being Christ's disciple and pray for one another. Man, how God worked through that sharing ... I was seriously felt encouraged ...

Second session, I was so sleepy after playing basketball during the break.

The third session was good sermon and that night I slept having so many things in my mind, renewing my commitment to God about prayer and other things. Overall the kotbah was EXCELLENT ... praise God ... lots of application and follow through clear outline ... I guess the speaker is so experienced and love God ... He is concerned with young people's spiritual matters and he is so good even if I do not know him personally ...

Fourth and Fifth sessions were also very good ... I enjoyed the sermon series in the retreat very much .. When was the last time I enjoyed sermon? huh ... not lately I think ...

Got to know some new friends and come to think of it now, it was worth going ... Now, I just have to be discipline in the commitment that I made to God ...

Last advice from my ethics tutor

This is a little story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody.

There was an important job to be done and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it.

Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it.

Somebody got angry about that because it was Everybody's job.

Everybody thought that Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn't do it.

It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done.



Go forth and communicate!
Good luck!

noa@...

All things

Verse:
Every thing that we see
Every thing that we can touch
All things that we have
All wealth, all possession, and pow'r
Belong to our God

Chorus:
Naked we came
Naked we will depart
All glory to our God

Born with nothing
We'll bring none when we die
All glory to our God

Saying No / Yes to someone you respect

Personally, I feel it is hard to say NO, especially to someone close to you or someone that you respect. Some friends these days told me that I have a choleric personality in me. I don't think I even had this personality a few years ago.

At times when I am being choleric, I am turned into someone who strives to lead and be in control of things. I will say a big NO without any hesitation if I feel that's the right answer, and can be nasty too sometimes. The problem is, there is also the other side of me which does not want to dissapoint others. After that, conflict usualy arises within me and I think about it more at night when I am alone (post decision syndrome?) hehehe ..

Well, I had to say a big NO to someone I respect today, not because I don't want to help but I want to concentrate on other things at the moment and just don't have the time to help. Imagine my normal schedule for a week:

- Fulltime work 9-5.30 from Monday to Friday
- 3 nights of master course lectures
- do some reading and assignments during the week
- Saturday: bible study in the afternoon, followed by music practice and youth fellowship
- Sunday: church in the morning and followed by bible study preparation until 12.

Frankly speaking, I only have my rest on Sunday afternoon for the whole days. I just had to say NO or I won't be much help either and will even dissapoint more in the end.

Perceptions about God

One friend once told me this

• Friend(F): I heard in the bible God took away one person's wife and kill his children just to test if the guy is really faithful to Him and discuss it with Satan. That's really unfair and unjust.
  
• (I): Well, God is God and He can do whatever He likes. Our life is made and belongs to Him.
  
• (F): I wouldn't want to worship that kind of God even though in the end, I heard God gave the man a new children and wealth. Why would I? He is not just at all ..
  

• (F): It does not make sense to me that we are sinful because of our parents' sin and granparents' sins. Why am I sinful because of Eve? What do you think about a 'baby'? Is the baby sinful too? NO .. No way that is the case ..
  
• (I): We are sinful not because of our parents' sin. Sin entered the world through adam and eve, but we are sinful because we reject God and say to God: I don't need you.
• (F): Well, still don't understand, whatevaaa.
  

• (F): If there is a God why doesn't he come down and show himself to everyone and to me?
• (I): yes He did, 2000 years ago in the person of Jesus.
  
• (F): Oh in ancient time yes. Then I suggest he does that more often, maybe every 500 years. Don't be so lazy.

• (F): What are you praying for?
• (I): I say thanks for the meal
• (F): Emm, do you think if you don't work you can still eat like this?
• (I): No, but I believe that God is in control of everything. My work comes from God too.
• (F): Well, that's just stupid. God does not have anything to do with it, why should I pray to a God that does not contribute to this meal?
• (F): Well I don't believe in any religion. I think people misuse religion to have control over other people. I am in control of myself now.
  

• (F): So you are a christian aren't you? *giving some weird look in the eyes* .. Interesting ...
  

• (I): So what is it that you believe in?
• (F): I believe in myself. I control everything. If I want something, I buy it. I don't need a God to give me that. I am god.
• (I): Well, if you say that man is a god to himself, it is obvious that we do not have control over many things in life. That cannot be true.
  
• (F): I believe that in this life I should work hard if I want something. I like money, girls, and I don't think God has anything to do with it. You should work hard to get them and at the same time enjoy life. It is stupid to thank a God ....

Yayyy!! No more exam and evening classes

Fiuhhh ... at last .. I just finished my last exam today ... I think it went alright .... No more evening classes sounds really good .. hehe ... enjoying my life to the fullest ...

Relationship conceptualised

Relationship is like a cycle of love and trust:

• First it starts with love and trust .. Trust enables you to share life freely without fear ..
  

• It needs lots of courage to even start a relationship ... Trusting/loving people opens up a door to get hurt, because people is people. People is bound to hurt one another ...
  

• This is where love comes in ... Love forgives and is powerful enough to rebuild trust ..
  

• and so on and so on ....
  

**Endless cycle of love and trust**

**Falling deeper and deeper in love with someone,**
**we will be hurt more and more **

**Even so people still will still fall in love right?**

2 down .. one to go

2 exams down, 1 to go ... I wish this will be over soon .. The last one will be pretty hard though ..

First exam tomorrow

Well, here I am sitting in front of my PC and about to sleep .. My head is spinning around .. It hurts!!! and I am going to sit in my first master course exam tomorrow ... How do I best describe my feeling right now .. I think I just want it to be over soon ... That's all I ask ....

Last night I had a dream about me sitting in the exam, forgetting to bring important materials and ended up doing badly in the exam ... I hope it is just a dream ... Right now I just want to get some nap ... My head, my eyes, my neck, my body, everything feel sore ....

Yoshhh!! Exam .. Bring it on!!!

Today ... I switch my mood to exam mood ... I feel like I am going to war and so pumped up that I want to win so badly ... hehehe ... Pray for me that I may use my time wisely these 2 weeks ... !!!!!

Unless the Lord builds, VANITY

I like to put my thoughts in blog and this is probably another entry of that kind. It sounds depressing, but somehow I'd like to retain those thoughts to remind me about what's really important ...

Last night, I was doing some thinking ... As usual, I took my guitar, sit on the couch outside, play softly and start thinking ... I was thinking about many things .... My family, my friends, my church, my work, my efforts, my future, my plan, my home, my bible study, my study, and so on. I was thinking and thinking and thinking, while I held my guitar and playing it anyway I felt like playin .... It was so quiet outside .. I could hear water dripping from the toilet but that was it .... so peaceful, so comforting, and so quiet ... This was around 3 am in the morning ... so you can imagine what it is like ....

While in that situation, I was reminded about one verse:

Psalm/Mzm 127:1
Unless the LORD builds the house, its builders labor in vain.
Unless the LORD watches over the city, the watchmen stand guard in vain.

Jikalau bukan TUHAN yang membangun rumah, sia-sialah usaha orang yang membangunnya;
jikalau bukan TUHAN yang mengawal kota, sia-sialah pengawal berjaga-jaga.

"That is just so TRUE" ... in my heart I said ...

I've experienced many things which unless the Lord builds, it is in vain ... But I was thinking again, surely men/women has done great things on earth ... great leaders like Martin Luther King, Nelson Mandela, Mother Theresa who is a champion of human rights, Napoleon who conquered Europe ....

So what does it mean then? Should I wait or should I do something? Will YOU build if I do not build?

The more I ponder into these questions, I was reminded of ecclesiastes series that we have done at Pemuda..Yes, the verse is so true that unless the Lord builds, open up a way, no men can fight against it .. This is done so that men/women may revere God who is the creator of all things ... This does not mean that we should do nothing ... Men/Women should build but at the same time we should acknowledge that it is because of the Lord's help that we can build it ... All glory in the end goes back to HIM ....

I was also reminded of David, king of israel ... I am just amazed how in his early life, he is described as a man after God's own heart ... He always asked God whether he should do something or not .... He acknowledged the Lord in all his ways and trusted the Lord ... and this is maybe where we are lacking today .... We might think that we have great programs/plans in mind, busy with "good" things in life, running 3 bible studies, active in ministry, doing higher education, work hard, doing business, but we fail to realise that unless the Lord builds, everything is meaningless ....

So whatever things that we have in our minds, let us acknowledge that unless the Lord builds the house, its builders labour in vain.

Life update

Well, I am starting to get used to busy life. Life is busy, but I am happy. Everyday is fulfilling and I have no regrets at all. A couple of random updates about me and people around me

• I am juggling with work and exam at the moment which will be on the 20, 22 and 27 of June. Started some revision already and aiming for PASS only this time. If I get distinction, I will be really happy. hehhehe ... Really happy!!! I mean it ...
  
• Currently doing 5000 words essay due this Thursday ... What a pain!!! Getting there, and thank God it is a group project. Group project has taught me a number of things: how to work with different people and trust that person to do his/her job well, which is a good thing. I have also learnt about how to manage group project better. Communication and trust really plays an important role to get work done properly.
• A bit sick (cold + caugh) today, I don't think I will go to work tomorrow. That means I will use the time to do my essay.
• One of my best friend, Jeff is going back to indo for good ... I need to contact him to have a farewell party before he goes back to Medan ... I wonder if I'd have the time to do that ...
  
• I envy my brother Jun these days ... He just finished his exam and got nothing to do the whole day ... Just relaxing and playing games, sleep, eat ... Fiuh .. what a good life man!!
• Jun just bought me a DVD player recently as my bday present .. Yay!! That means I can watch DVD whenever I am bored with my study now ... Video ezy is just closeby anyway!! hehehe ...
  
• And now, just have to benkyo benkyo!! Ganbate oooo!!!
  

True friends

Friends are hard to find. People make friends with other people and working together, encouraging each other, hurting each other and so on.

I am thankful that I have lots of friends and I am able to find some that I can trust .... Trust is the key to friendship and I just wanna give thanks to God because of this. Friends to me are very important, they add colours to my life, and life would be just boring without friends. They are there to share happy/sad moments in life and to give advise when needed sometimes. It will be interesting to see how all my friends going in 10, 20, or 30 years time? hehehe ...

Old man forgiveness!

It is funny that I feel the older you get, the harder it is to forgive someone. I can understand now, getting older (25 years of age) and all that. Sometimes, the matter is too serious and the stake is so high that it is just not in the agenda. To forgive does not necessarily to support that person keep doing wrong things to you and sometimes we should rebuke the person who has done wrong to us out of love for him/her. But I believe love should dominate our way of thinking.

When Paul said: "Forgive as the Lord has forgiven you", does that mean that we should forgive and suppress our anger? Since the model there is God's anger is still being pour out to Jesus, it is not free and there is a price that must be paid by someone. How about us? When we are angry with someone because he/she has done wrong to us, who should receive punishment?

Is it Jesus? Jesus died for my sin, yes, but this is not a matter between me and God, it is between me and other human being.
Is it us? maybe
Is it the person who has done wrong to us? I don't know, but if it is the other person, can it still be called forgiveness?
Who else?
Who should be punished?

"This is how the world will know that you are my disciple, if you love one another"
Arrghhhh, why is life so complicated? :)

Political matter

I always hate being so political. I don't see the point of doing it at all and I see it as an evil thing. Why? Because what you see might not reflect the heart of a person and that to me look like a hypocrite.

But now slowly I come to think that politics has its own place and it is not about saying/acting things that are different to your heart. It is a matter of knowing when to say/act and when to refrain from doing it. Being political is sometimes a good thing and I want to learn doing it more, but stay true to my heart at the same time.

MengenalMu

Bila ku buka mataku dan lihat wajahMu
Ku terkagum
Bila ku lihat hidupku dan karya tanganMu
Ku tersanjung

[Bridge]
Kar’na semua yang baik dalam hidupku
Itulah karyaMu
Kau bri kes’mpatan yang baru

[Chorus]
Dan ku ingin mengenalMu Tuhan
Lebih dalam dari
S’mua yang ku kenal
Tiada kasih yang melebihiMu
Ku ada untuk menjadi penyembahMu

The worst feeling

One of the worst feeling that people may have is the feeling of not being acknowledged by the group where he/she belongs to. You might be in the same group, doing the same thing, but the acknowledgement is just not there to grasp ... One of the cause is probably the inability to have the same mindset or knowledge as most people in the group ....

When faced with this kind of situation, there are basically 2 things we could do ...
1. Just shrink back and let that feeling of insecurity takes over
2. Realized that it is just part of life, even Jesus had to endure this during his life, and fight your way up ...

Which way will I choose?

No guts no glory

Hari ini aku decided utk pergi ke pemuda service. Pertamanya sih ga mau pergi, abis banyak banget essay yang due next week ... big ones!! Mann! I am doomed, tapi gara2 hari ini tugas main music, I had to go ... Tapi setelah pertamanya ngerasa setengah hati, I decided to give it a go. Tadi mikir kalo udah decide pergi, at least be there 100% gituuu ... So I did that and I had an encouraging time.

Ga tau kebetulan atau ngga, tadi Firman Tuhan juga menegur myself to run a good race, setting our heart on the things above and fix our eyes on Jesus. Well, akhir2 ini seriiiiiing banget miss out on saat teduh and other things soalnya busy banget sihhhh!!

And now, I have to go back to my essays. Got three big essays that I must finish before the ened of next week. Mannnnnn!! ..... so busyyyy!!

innocence

I am sending you out like sheep among wolves. Therefore be as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves.

How can we do this? How should we apply this statement in real life?

Omedeto VicBas and Lydia

Congrats to Vic bas and Lydia for their wedding yesterday.

Pesan dari ex flatmates 1/381 Anzac Parade Kingsford: Put God as #1 and humbly serve one another. Last but not least: beranak cuculah dan penuhilah Sydney.

Omedeto!

Random updates

• My birthday this year makes me feel that I am surrounded by good friends and families ... I received lots and lots of messages, phone calls and wishes from friends and families ... There were also small surprise parties, which is sweet ... As one of my friend said, one year older means wiser .. :)
• I am very inspired by one Japanese movie that I watch (Gokusen) .... It is about a teacher whose relationship with her students is very close ... Lots of funny and touching stories ... It's really really really cool ... even I cried watching it .. hehehe ... recommended to watch ...
• I learnt this past year that whenever bad things happen, I should learn to stand up on my own feet and walk again ... That's life ... Never run away from problem and always overcome my fear boldly ... Fight and stand up like a man! :)
• I've just got a new job in the city ... The company I will work for is a financial software companies which sells software to big banks such as westpac and CBA .. I'll be working closely with my close friend at uni ... I am hoping to get more exposure in the financial world, hopefully this new job gives me just that ... It will also help me to save school fee coz I can get some back from tax deduction ... yuhuu ... The sad thing is I have to leave my current company ... I am sure they will manage though ....
• Victor (my ex flatmate) and Lydia's wedding is approaching really fast ... I am happy for them ... Wishing that they will enjoy one another's company in the Lord ... and always put the partner above him/herself ..
• I feel that I don't do as well as my friends in my course at the moment .. I don't know whether it is a factor of me working and studying full time or it's just me not used to making essays for assignments or my friends are really smarties people ... I feel I can be be good at computing, maths and science subjects but not so in commerce subjects .... Well, the good thing is that my attitude to school and uni has changed considerably since last time I did my undergrad .. I feel school is not so much about mark/grade .. Yes, mark is important and I should try to do well, but the most important thing is to be able to learn something and use whatever I have in me to apply that in my own style .... I feel at ease and do not feel any pressure at all even though most of my friends are doing better than me so far .. :) ... cheer up di! I will just do what I can ... Yosshhh!!!!
• Bible study 2 ways to live has almost finished ... I am hoping that my fellow members grow in love, godliness and in knowledge of God. I sometimes wonder if I am any better compared to other leaders/former leaders .. But it is stupid really ... I should not think like that and I should just do what I can .... Next is Romans, really looking forward to that ....

Jun, my little bro

This entry is dedicated to Jun, my little brother...

I personally want to thank God for Jun because:
1. Of his patience towards me all these years .. dia jauuuhhh lebih sabar dari me ..... jempoll
2. enak sering dipijitin .. hehe .. apalagi kalo abis pulang kerja ...
3. His humour always enlighten me everytime gua BT ...
4. He seems to be able to read my mind - strange but true ...
5. He is always one of those people who miss me the most when I am away .. waktu masih kecil n gua tinggal ke malang, dia nangis berhari2 sampe berminggu2 ... how sweet bangettt ...
6. He is the one yg know almost all my secrets ... I can tell him almost anything since he is not prejudice ...
7. Great advisor on love matters ... hehhee ... true true .. he counsels many of his friends believe it or not ....
8. He came to Australia and starting to know more about Jesus and his salvation ... This last one is the one I am most grateful of ...

**God, please continue to work in him .. May he know you, the true and only God ... May His love for you grow day by day as he also loves his friends, families and even his enemies ... **

Mengertikah

Hari demi hari dilalui
sibuk sibuk dan sibuk
tak ada waktu untuk ini dan itu
terasa cepat tak kunjung berhenti

Hari demi hari tugas menanti
Jarang bercakap cakap lagi
Banyak yang tak paham
Seminggu tak bertemu, sebulan tak bersua
Seratus tahun tak terasa sudah

Kalau saja bisa baca isi hati
Pasti baca dengan rajin
Kan dicari sampai ketemu
Diraih dengan seluruh tenaga

Mengertikah..................................?

Banyak hal tak kupahami
Dalam masa menjelang
Tapi trang bagiku ini
Tangan Tuhan yang pegang

2 Timothy 2:1 - Therefore my dear son, be strong in the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Proverbs 24:1 - If you falter in times of trouble, how small is your strength!

The Heavenly Man book quote #1

Before I travelled to the West I had absolutely no idea that so many churches were spiritually asleep. I presumed the Western church was strong and vibrant because it had brought the gospel to my country with such incredible faith and tenacity. Many missionaries had shown a powerful example to us by laying down their lives for the sake of Jesus.

On Some occasions I've struggled while speaking in Western churches. There seems to be something missing that leaves me feeling terrible inside. Many meetings are cold and lack the fire and presence of God that we have in China.

In the West many Christians have an abundance of material possesions, yet they live in a backslidden state. They have silver and gold, but they don't rise up and walk in Jesus' name. In China we have no possessions to hold us down, so there's nothing preventing us from moving out for the Lord. The Chinese church is like Peter at the Beautiful Gate. When he saw the crippled beggar he said, "Silver or gold I do not have, but what I have I give you. In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, walk!" Acts 3:6

In a similar way, I pray that God might use the Chinese church to help the Western church rise up and walk in the power of the Holy Spirit. It's almost impossible for the church in China to go to sleep in its present situation. There's always something to keep us on the run, and it's very difficult to sleep while you're running. If persecution stops, I fear we'll become complacent and fall asleep.

References:
Brother Yun with Paul Hattaway, The Heavenly Man p.295-296m, Monarch Books, 2004.

A bet!

I made a bet last night with Jun ... If he stops playing game for two months, I will do the same thing by not downloading new animes (or even watch if he wants to) for two months as well ...

The point is not to limit his gaming time at all, but I am convinced that he is at a point of can not stop now (just like people can not stop smoking or drinking coffee) ... Wasting time on game too much is so stupid!! It is disrespectful to the ONE who give the time .... I do not gain anything from this bet ... nothing at all ... In fact I won't watch my lovely animes for two months until June ... How sad can that be? :(

Am I a dictator? and a book I am reading

This morning I was called a DICTATOR sama Jun sambil joking2 gitu lah ... It made me think whether I have that dictator character in me? hehehe ... maybe I do have it ...

On my way to north sydney I was reading a book called Heavenly man which tells a story about a person called Yun who is badly persecuted in China for preaching the gospel ... During the reading, many times I compared his situation and mine ... so different ... Here I can go to church, read the bible as much as I want to, and yet many times I am lazy at memorizing God's word, did not appreciate the opportunity in sharing the gospel .. , did not have the HEART to share it ... Indonesia might be a different story though .. My mum has warned me several times not to go to church in indo caused many people are anti-christian and there are many bombs targeted at the Church of God ... but Indonesia is still much better than what Yun experienced in China ... so cruel, treated like animals and yet God worked marvelously through him to bring the gospel to Chinese people ... Many miracles, unthinkables happen during his ministry but it was followed by great persecution and sufferings .. It is just like what happened in Acts to the apostles and early churches .... I can draw many similarities between the two stories .... I am about half-way reading the book now and can not wait to read more ...

2 Timothy 3:12
In fact, everyone who wants to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted

Outing

Aduhhh .. outing hari ini fun bangetttt ... pagi2 kita berangkat jam 9 dari kingsford ke national kuringgai park ... sesampai disono, we were a bit dissapointed sih, soalnya ujan gitu .... but suddenly the sun just showed his bright face, thank God .. We then proceeded with the plan, which is to have an ice breaking games .. There were quite a number of new people came, which is good ... The game was followed by bush walking for about an hour, lunch (nasi goreng java) and canoeing .... Overall it was fun

until ...............

There was an argument between X and Y when we've finished canoeing, which ends up with X punching Y in the face ... Not many people saw it, but me, Jun, Niki and Viki saw that incidents ... I didn't know what happened and was sort of confused coz I did not see the whole thing .. I heard that X said some rude words towards Y and one second after that "PUNCH" ... I tried asking both parties what happened and concluded that Y did not deserve the punch that he got ... I am pissed of with X ... REALLY pissed off ... even now ... how DARE he hitting my other friend?

Bazaar and random updates!

IPC, my home church in Sydney just had a bazaar today. There were about 8 food/drink stalls, baloon and face painting stall, video game and auction. There were probably around 500-750 people turned up all together, pretty good for doing it the first time. Well, I spent quite a lot of money on food (as expected, hehehe) and helped out a bit in auction and grocery stall. I really hope that we will reach the financial target that we are aiming for buying the new church at kingsford. Our church has just bought a new building at kingsford and we are still short about $80,000 in total.

Uni wise, it is getting really busy ... wondering whether I will have time to do anything else at all ... I am going to do lots of reading this evening since tomorrow I'll be going to kuringgai national park canoeing and bush walking .. It might be my last outing of the year .. really don't want to miss it ... Big quiz, essay, team debate, ERP projects are next in my diary ... It's a lot of work ... I'm just hoping for the best ... I missed a couple of morning devotion last week ... really bad bad bad ... It was a bit of a mess coz I had a quiz and essay due last week plus easter ... Should've managed my time better ...

Had a chit chat with my friends from Yogya, Y and F, yesterday night after pemuda dinner ... We talked about this and that until we arrived at the usual topic ... what else other than BGR (Boy Girl Relationship) .. :) ... Apparently Y is just like me, never had a girl friend before ... I knew that ... but F has had 2 relationships already ... So we shared lah ... until very late .. hahahaha .. it's always a good laugh with those two ... What shocked me the most was the situation in Yogya ... Not like what I imagined ... Heard that the girl there is so different to Sydney ... very agressive .. hehehe .. F said, in sydney there is no/rare communication between boys and girls .. tiba2 aja jadian langsung ... main belakang kali .. :) ... one day bisa ngobrol enak, the next minute udah kayak ga kenal aja ... Kalo di Yogya it's very different ... cewe ajak kenalan cowo di mall udah biasa .. cowok juga sebaliknya ... Tapi negativenya ya selingkuh ratenya tinggi ... hahahah .. F said kalo mau cari yg berkualitas ya di sydney aja ... di Yogya udah jarang katanya ....

In terms of personality, akhir2 ini kayaknya bisa dibilang me rada hyper deh .. outgoing personality nya keluar ... I am not in any kind of pressure other than sekolah and kerja which I quite enjoy ...

There's actually many things happen to me these days ... exciting things in work and other things .. It's just that malesss banget nulis di blog ... hahaha .. Thank God .. He is good sih .. in good times or bad times ...

looking for somethin' in life?

Wah.. It's been so long since I update my blog ... Anyway, this entry is inspired by the songs di drama easter ... enak .. t-o-p-b-g-t .. Dikarang ama jenny melody nya plus lyrics by Inggrid kalo ga salah ... Jempol 100x to both of u .. :)

It's about someone yg looking for the meaning of life ... Looking but never find ... the true way ... Only in Jesus you can find the way ... I dare to say that my life, your life, everybody in this world is created with God as the center of our life.. We will never find meaning everywhere else ... NEVER !!!! You can go up as high as the sky and down as deep as the sea ... you will never find the life the way and the truth except in Jesus who has loved us ..

Don't look too far .. Jesus is closer than you think He is ... Find him now .. Happy easter everyone ^o^

Three Main Value-Adding Activities: Ministry, Study and Work :-)

My life has been revolving around those three things in the last couple of weeks. There is not much time spent for doing other things. Try my best to balance my life, getting enough sleep, not neglecting other things that are much more important than my study.

Yes, I decided to do master course this year and hoping to finish by the end of next year. Even though it is hard, I really enjoy it so far .. In the course, I learnt so many different things, concepts, practical stuffs .. They design and restructure the course very differently to last year. All of the core subjects that all commerce students must undertake are very interesting ... reallyy ... It is just so practical, makes a lot of sense, useful and serve the purpose of laying the foundation for things to come in the course.

Why I decided to do master is still a bit of a mystery to me ... I've thought about it for a long time ... I've shared this with a couple of friends, but only late last year I had come to a decision to further my study ... It was a factor of there is a possibility for me of going back to indonesia, lots of spare time after work and wanting to learn about economics/commerce that make me decide to do master course. I've also been working for 2 years (1 year as a Research Assistant and 1 year at Holocentric) and feel it's just the right time for me to continue my study (enough savings to pay for the fee and my living cost) ... There is also other factors which is ministry at pemuda has come to a point where there will be new inti serving for the next term. It doesn't mean I don't minister to my christian brothers and sisters anymore, but I will be focusing more on bible study and music rather than doing administration as a member of the youth committee ...

It has been really good SO FAR, but who knows what will happen down the track ... For now I just hope to finish this as soon as possible ...

James 4:13-17
13Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.” 14Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. 15Instead, you ought to say, “If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that.” 16As it is, you boast and brag. All such boasting is evil. 17Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn't do it, sins.

Playing game, not good if too much

These days, jun play game too much ... I usually tell him directly or indirectly not to do that ...
I really want to spend more time talking to him .... Really really want to ... When I got home he always play game .. I don't have that many chance to actually talk to him .. man to man talk you know .. ^^ .. I opted not to tell him anymore .. I've told him many times already ... time for patience now I guess ...

above $100,000 salary?

I met with my uni friend yesterday. He is indian and apparently working for one of the top bank in Australia. We talked about many things including work and investment. We talked about that since he told me a story that he had lost quite a lot of money in the stock market ($65,000 out of his own pocket money) and I was interested in that since I am going to do finance this year.

Well, I was wondering where he got the money from that he could invest hundreds of thousand of dollar even though he graduated at the same year as I did. I asked him more about his work and all that. Apparently he started working since he was 2nd year at uni. It was quite extraordinary that he managed to work full time and doing computer engineering course full time. In the end he told me that his salary these days is around $105,000. It used to be $150,000 he said. And wow ... I was so ... how to describe it ... shocked ... BIG SHOCK ATTACK! It's not funny ... :)

Suddenly this jealousy entered my heart and mind. How come this guy get that much of a salary even though he graduated on the same year as I did? It's not fair ... I was jealous yesterday, REALLY JEALOUS OF HIM .. Imagine what I could do with $150,000 salary? *I will fall into greed and love of money I think*. I tried not to show that I was shock in hearing his story.

I came home .. I sat on my bed ... thinking about it ... ponder about his situation and my situation. It was not really appropriate for me to be jealous ... Now that I think about it, it was a sin to think that God's blessing in my life now as NOT ENOUGH. It is funny on how you can be thankful to God one day and the next day you just feel as though God has not blessed you with all that you need. Sinful people like me always need reminder that His grace is enough. YES, IT IS ENOUGH. He has given His Son Jesus, what more can you askkkkkk??? It is enough. I am much more luckier than him since I know the true and only God.

But the question remains, I always feel confused about the topic of contentment. I feel that to be content can bring you to a static non-progressing life. Being content may mean (not always) that you are opposed to changes in life, You always feel that you've had enough even though you can do better or should do better at work/school/business/ministry. How do you balance between the two, contentment and achieving? I am confused since I am inclined to think that content person is most likely more lazy than people who actively seeking things.

Paul in one of his letter says to slave, if you have a chance to be freed, take it. The question is should the slave feel content as a slave or should he seek actively for his freedom? If he seeks for it does it mean he is not content with his life? The bible teaches us to seek and be content. How do you balance between the two? My thinking now is that seek in the bible is related to the kingdom of God and all its righteousness. Being content is related to things of this world, the blessings that God has given us. We have to be content with God's blessing since no matter how hard you work it all comes from Him.

Any opinion?

Kenapa ya?

Feeling tired today at work .... well I don't really know why .... maybe last night did not have enough sleep .... and pressure are building up at work !! There are too many things in which I am involved at work, church and uni at the moment ....

Anyway I better manage my time more effectively .. One at a time di!!!!

Gile

I slept so early last night .. 8PM .. kecapean banget .. and now (4AM) can't sleep anymore ... hahahha ... Help!!

Happy Chinese New Year

Gong Xie Fat Chai to all that celebrate! :) .. Around my age I don't get the red envelope (ang pao) and I don't give one since I haven't got married yet .. Boring!! hehehe

Thank u God

Don't feel like posting anything, just want to say thank you to God. Thinking back on how I became a Christians, counting all his blessings, the ups and the not so up times, all the fun moments, struggle moments really overwhelms me. If not because of Jesus, I wouldn't be here and I won't be what I am now.

I want to do some fun exercise. Want to count God's blessings in my life since I am a baby. Hehehehe ... Well, of course there are too many to count, but I will try my best anyway ...
Blessings:

1. Thank God that I was born .. yuhuu .. Hello world!!
2. Thank God for mum and dad who raised me with all love and care. They are not perfect parents, but I know that they love me soooo much.
3. Thank God that I was not so healthy when I was a kid. That way my parents had a chance to show their love for me and I can get really close to them too.
4. Thank God for all the fun holidays that we had together as a family
5. Thank God that I have a lovely brother, Jun. He has always been the one that understand me better than my parents or friends.
6. Thank God for my mum who is always there when I needed help in anything.
7. Thank God for papa yg sabarrrr dan teliti bangettt ... a calm factor in my life.
8. Thank God for mama and papa yg always work so hard just to provide me with the necessities in life. All the tears that they shed, all the sweats and hard work, really appreciate it. They are very brave parents and ulettt banget .. Kagum kagum ..
9. Thank God that I had lots of fun when I was a kid. Watched cartoon, played video games, played with friends and many things ... wow .. PUASSS BANGET POKOKNYA !!! hehehe ...
10. Thank God for my sunday school teacher .. what a great work that you did for God!
11. Thank God that I had a chance to get "0 DUCK" in one of my test during primary school. Once in a lifetime experience .. hehehe ... I cried a lot at that time since I am not used to that. Masih inget booo sampe sekarang!
12. Thank God for all my friends in Bondowoso!! Made some really2 close friends whom I still keep in contact until now.
13. Thank God that I had a chance to go to malang for junior high.
14. Thank God that I was becoming somewhat naughty on my first year of junior high, so that God's grace were shown more abundantly when I got to know Him the following year.
15. Thank God that I move place the following year and met my friends who introduced me to Christianity.
16. Thank God that I believed in Jesus on my second year of Junior High .. YUHUUU!!
17. Thank God that I experienced a lot of opposition from my family after that. It made me stronger and long for Jesus' return even more.
18. Thank God for all the struggles that I had to bear on that year and the following year. Fights with parents, all the tensions, and tears .. It was so hardddd!!!!! still is !
19. Thank God for all my friends in Malang ... I really enjoyed being with them and cherished the fun moments that we had together ...
20. Thank God for all the fun times at school in malang .. Hahahha .. so many memories ... From studying, makan rame2, makan bakso, nasi duk2, all the restaurants, pinjem2 buku kalo lagi mau ujian, visiting kost cewe rame2, jalan2 sore naik sepeda/sepeda motor, ngejahilin guru, funny friends/teachers, belajar bersama, POR (Pekan Olah Raga)-> juara tarik tambang, and so on !! Seru deh !!
21. Thank God for my church in Malang (GPdI Hebron) .. It started with a small church but it has people with a full dedication to God. The people really loved God with all their hearts, always friendly and warm. The church now grows and became a big church though.
22. Thank God for giving me talent to play music (guitar). It grows since I played for remaja at Hebron church. Music is the only art that I am good at apparently .. hahahaha ... I am hopeless in doing ketrampilan ama menggambar ..
23. Thank God for giving me a chance to share the gospel with my friends and ended up loosing my face by not being able to answer my friend's questions about christianity. I was really down at first but after a couple of weeks I was even more motivated to learn about the bible more.
24. Thank God for all the care and attentions that my parents gave me even though I did not live at the same city as them. It's unbelievable really!!! I remember one night that I was sick and asked them to come to malang and they did!! I couldn't believe it myself at that time!
25. Thank God for making me decide to go to Australia after finishing first year High school.
26. Thank God for bringing me to IPCYF through one of my language indo friend (Mike boris bro) at Sydney English Language Center.
27. Thank God for giving me a chance to serve Him in music ministry at IPCYF too.
28. Thank God for my uni friends. None of my close friends are christians. Thank God, because of that, I learnt how to live consciously as a christian. Tried to share, but never succeed though ...
29. Thank God for all the fun times that I had at uni, belajar bareng, di lab, played around with computer chips, played games together, renang bareng, masak2, gathering .. hahaha .. gosh it was fun!!
30. Thank God for giving me a chance to live in International house. Met so many people and broaden my point of view.
31. Thank God that Jun came to Australia - for all the sharing time together - this sort of chances don't come twice in my life - I really cherish having an argument, fight, laughs, and some fun moments together with him in Aussie. Thank God because He gave me a chance to witness through words and deeds about Jesus.
32. Thank God for finishing my school and being able to graduate!! It's a proof of God's providence in my life!
33. Thank God for romantic feelings that I had to some people even though it did not work out for now .. hahaha ... Learnt a lot from those experiences, and really opened my eyes to certain things in life.
34. Thank God for IPCers - you guys helped me grow in my understanding of God. I learnt a lot during fellowship with all of you.
35. Thank God for pemuda, whereby I can learn to encourage and serve one another in Christ.
36. Thank God for all of my bible study groups that I had in the past, for all the leaders (awa, Jimmy Liang, Darwin) and the members. Bible study really made me think seriously about who God is and purpose in life.
37. Thank God for my former flatmates (senior), e.g. vic bas, arie, jeffrey, aliong, for all the sharing time that we had together, about life, God, cewe, ... You guys are awesome!
38. Thank God for all the failures that I had in the past. Through those failures I learn more about life and how I should live as christian better.
39. Thank God for all the successes in my life as well. Through those things I learnt that all things come from God and He alone deserved to be praised.
40. Thank God for today! coz He reminded me about all His goodness in my life.
41. Thank God because He made me stronger day by day. I trust that He will finish His good work in me, making me more like Jesus.
42. Thank God ......... -----------------..........

Banyak bener kannnn!! Ga abis abis dehhhh .. Amin! =)

Beautiful psalm

1 O LORD , you have searched me
and you know me.
2 You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
3 You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
4 Before a word is on my tongue
you know it completely, O LORD .

5 You hem me in-behind and before;
you have laid your hand upon me.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.

7 Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
10 even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.

11 If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,"
12 even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.

13 For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
16 your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.

17 How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!
18 Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand.
When I awake,
I am still with you.

19 If only you would slay the wicked, O God!
Away from me, you bloodthirsty men!
20 They speak of you with evil intent;
your adversaries misuse your name.
21 Do I not hate those who hate you, O LORD ,
and abhor those who rise up against you?
22 I have nothing but hatred for them;
I count them my enemies.

23 Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
24 See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.

When God doesn't answer your prayer

I am currently reading a book called "When God doesn't answer your prayer". I am up to chapter 3 and so far it is pretty interesting ... Makes me wanna read more ...

angry

Here I am, sitting in front of my compie, tried to sleep for about an hour ever since 12AM but just could not do that ... I am angry to someone for acting irresponsibly on something ... I feel like not telling the person that he/she is wrong, but it got to a point where I could not take it anymore and had to do something, although that person might think that I am a nuisance ... huh, who cares ... I just want that person to be a little bit responsible for what he/she is doing .... and I pray that he/she would understand that I did that because I loved him/her.

In the mean time, I wanna get more sleeeppppp!!! tomorrow got church in the morning ..

Australian Day ... very memorable

Spent the whole day with some friends today. In the morning, I went to clovelly beach doing snorkeling (do i spell this right?) .. Well, that was the first swimming in years I think ... I haven't swam for ages, getting tired easily, especially in the sea. But overall it was a lot of fun ... I feel like doing it more .. :) ...

We then rushed to Ratu sari for lunch .. I reckon the food was pretty ordinary ... maybe because we didn't order the best that they have to offer .. hehehe .. Deb, if you are reading, what exactly did you order?? I need to know for future reference .. We ordered ayam mentega, cumi kapitan, chap jay goreng ama ikan goreng ratu sari tuh ...

We went straight to Juliana's place afterwards because Jule did not feel well today. She actually went home first ahead of us during our time in the beach. We wanted to see how she was going and finish swimming early ... We were a bit worried when we heard what happened to her .. She turned out to be alright, thank God. After that, we decided to go to Max Brener in the afternoon .. I ordered the waffle and WOWWWWW ..... It was the best waffle I've ever had ... EXCELLENTE .. IMPRESSIVE ... really really nice ... I want to go there again if I have a chance .. :)

From Max Brener, we planned to head home but somehow ended up at Juliana's place until late at night. It was really strange, but God is behind everything I guess :) .. At her place, we did a lot of sharing through truth and nothing but the truth game (the modified version of truth or dare game .. heheheh). It wasn't planned at all. Most of the questions are about Boy/Girl relationships and surprise surprise, there are a lot of openness in the conversation. We were honest with one another, sharing our good and bad experiences in relationships, sharing our lives basically. There were times where we can feel someone's sadness, but there were also many times of joy. It was so interesting. We closed the sharing with one statement that, each individual has his/her own strengths and weaknesses, but it will be wrong to base our confidence in those things especially in a relationship. Our confidence should be in Jesus who has saved us from our sins, redeemed us from this evil world. That is where our confidence lies ... In a relationship, the most important thing is both parties love God and are willing to be shaped, mould by God Himself so that both can grow and encourage one another in the Lord since our lives is not about us but about HIM. That is also the case with our relationships. We then headed to KFC Maroubra for dinner at about 10PM and said good bye to one another.

Well, that was pretty much my day ... What a day!! Definitely a memorable one !!

William lagi nembak freddy ... HAUHAUHAUHAUAH 

Danny lagi hyper ... hahahaha 

kakak adik ketemu gede ... yg mana yang kakak coba?????? 

foto rame2 di reception 

aduh fred, senyumnya ga tahan booo!! :) 

Danny and IVAN G ... you guys rocks!! 

Cewe2 IPC!! go girl 

Married soonnnnn... just wait a little longer ok!! 

me and my cousin angkat Yossie .... !!!  

The latest husband and wife from IPC + 2 cowo/cewe ganteng/cakep 

The singers and song leaders 

At your service Denden and Alia. ^^ 

3 cowok belajar pasang dassi .. hauhauhauh 

Leonard bangun tidur .. monkey style .. hahahha 

Foto rame2 before going back! Ken is being iseng tuh.. 

In the house on the second night. What are you doing danny? 

Me and hans before going to den den and alia's wedding .. similar hair style .. inspired by each other huh hans? :) 

KYC 2004 - Looking for relationships? hmmmm hmmm hmm ..

Looking for relationships? That is not really a question. It is the theme of Katoomba Youth Convention (KYC) 2004. KYC is a christian youth convention in sydney attended by around 1000 young christians. It is held every year at Katoomba blue mountain and it happened that there were about 36 people went there from IPCYF (the record number ever).

Well, I really enjoyed the trip. Learnt a number of things from the sermon, here they are:
1. We should live for the future ... In the future, Jesus will come again as judge .. At that time, those who believe in Jesus will be saved and those who does not will be judge because they do not believe in the only Son of God. I will meet Jesus face to face, the person who gave His life for my sake, betrayed by person he trusted the most, suffered so much under Pontius Pilate, separated from His Father in heaven, died on the cross, shed his blood and body up there, died among criminals just for my sake ... so that I have a relationship again with the Father in heaven, and I may know Him, the true God and being forgiven. My future looks really beautiful .. There will be no more tears .. God will wipe out tears from my eyes ... so beatiful isn't it?
2. Be involve with as many non-christians as you can and be the reflection of God's light to them.
Basically be salt and light to the world. Salt: get involve with many non-christians at all levels (political and social) and be a reflection of Christ, be different to them in all of that. It is very very hard, not an easy thing to do ... I guess there is a big difference between accepting sinners and approving what sinners do .. We are all sinners and Jesus himself accepts sinners as they are, but He did not approve what they do ..

Those two were the main points that I got from KYC .. does not seem to be related to relationships among men and women at all huh ... =)

I also had so much fun during KYC ... sang lots of songs with friends, play cards, play pictionary and did some sharings with a couple of close friends ... I got to know them better I guess .. I get to share some of my burdens as well, which is good . heheheh .... Fun is a good thing, and we need fun ... but the more important thing is to let me be challenged by the Word of God and really put it into practice.

Thanks to all of you who have worked so hard in preparing stuffs, driving, cooking, book accomodation, shopping, sending email .. You guys/gals are the best ...

Another old song yet one of my favorite

Since I am a musicians, this time i am gonna do the song with chords ... hehe .. I really love this song ... simple, touchy and always remind me about God's position in my life.

Yang terbesar (Do = C)

C                     Am                     Dm     G
Yang terbesar di hidupku mengasihi Kau
Dm                     G                     C   C7
Yang terbesar di hidupku mengasihi Kau
             F     G
Ku mau lebih cinta
           E/G#  Am
Ku mau lebih cinta
         C            Am                Dm   G     C
Yang terbesar di hidupku mengasihi Engkau

Back to indo in 2 years time

I think I might decide to go back after I finish my master degree. Still thinking about it though .. it might change later ..

Pro:
1. Di indo ada all my families and relatives, lebih rame kali ye.
2. My parents ask me to and they definitely ga mau datang sini.
3. I feel more comfortable raising a family/children in indo. Different environment, aussie is more individualistic, you you, me me.
4. I don't like paying mortgage for the rest of my life 30/40 years.
5. More opportunities if you want to open business or advance in your work.
6. Kehidupan di sydney monoton banget at the moment (everywhere kayak gini kali) plus kadang juga feel not at home aja.


Contra:
1. Fellowship di sydney sangat encouraging
2. Many uncertainties kalo pulang indo.
3. Indo itu kehidupannya susah being true and honest, selalu ada compromises here and there.
4. Macet, polusi
5. Masih harus cari2 gereja lagi di indo, walaupun gua yakin di indo juga ada gereja yang teach the bible and ada fellowship bagus.
6. Disini udah agak mapan - ada kerjaan and all that - can save quite a bit as well ...

Life ....... beyond 2005

Hmm ... tahun 2005 mungkin bakal banyak yang berubah ni .. bukan hanya I will continue my study, tapi juga in terms of pekerjaan and all that ... Kalo dulu2 ga banyak mikir tentang kerjaan, bisnis, sekarang malah banyak banget mikirnya ... Did I change my focus in life? Am I being selfish? Why am I like this? Is it because aku udah nambah umur lagi? Maybe because Ada harapan dari ortu juga kali ya .. I don't know .. :)

In terms of my relationship with God, I will still do the same things as I do now. I really need firman Tuhan to guide my path. Well, udah banyak di warn sih di awal2 tahun ... make an aim in the year 2005 to be:
1. Punya Tuhan Yesus dalam hidupku (udah)
2. Mengutamakan Firman Tuhan dalam hidup (hmm ... can do better)
3. Pake hikmat Tuhan in doing all things which usually berbeda 180 derajat dengan hikmat dunia. (can do better).

My vision is to be different dengan orang yg ga kenal Tuhan. Kalo misalnya bisnis, ya bisnis yg sesuai dengan kehendak Tuhan .. Kalo misalnya bakal kerja, I aim to be independent dan cukup secara financial ... I think itu jalan that I will tempuh untuk tahun2 ke depan ... Ga gampang I know, soalnya ya itu tadi - hikmat Tuhan melalui the bible is usually considered a "fool" bagi orang dunia .... I might have to experience loss/rugi/dipecat dari kerjaan yg udah mapan because of that .. Am I prepared for that? I don't really know the future, but I will try my best to live a christian life ...

Many examples in the bible where people must pay the price to follow God. Zakheus lost everything setelah mengikut Yesus, Daniel and his friends had to go through many trials to live a righteouss life in the eyes of God, Jesus had to suffer to save us from our sins, Paul suffered many persecution for the sake of the gospel, Joseph suffered because he was blameless and so on. I don't think I am strong enough to bare all that by myself, but is there anything impossible with God?

While doing that I am still hoping to still be able to share Christ with my family members and relatives and people that I will meet during my journey in life. My big aim in life is definitely to see the people that I meet know who the real Jesus is ...

Well, this is just my plan for a few years to come ... Plan is just a plan. They are meaningless, infact life is meaningless like what ecclesiastes says ... what matters is Fear God and keep all His commandments for this is the whole duty of men .... My life is not my own, but His ... Applying it to the real life might be a little tricky though ...

Hidup, hidup .. susah amattttt sihhhhh .. !! or is it because of me and the situation that makes it complicated? hahahaha ...

First IPCYAF 2005

Attended first IPCYAF for the year 2005 today. So happy and thankful to see friends/bros/sis encouraging one another ... We held the service in the new church at Kingsford .. The church is small but nice and it's ideal for holding pemuda service. We went to Fajar restaurant afterwards for dinner. Thank God for IPCYAF.

Surabaya - Jakarta

I had a chance to visit Surabaya and Jakarta for about a week recently. Didn't do much except some shopping and business activities. It was quite an enjoyable experience since this is only the third time I went to Jakarta in my entire life ... hahahahah ... I stayed in Ibis Hotel mangga dua, pretty close to Pasar pagi, ITC, and Mangga Dua Mall. Not a bad place to stay in Jakarta considering its strategic location ...

In Jakarta I saw quite a number of old friends. Met Christanto during IPC reunion. He's currently working with IBM, already has 1 child and really blessed by the Lord. Another person that I met is Mariana who by the way looks really really thin. She does not change much, still calm and mature in the Lord like before. Jemmy who used to be in one bible study group with me is still waiting for His Aussie PR to be processed. Ryan who went back to indo this year is also well and blessed by the Lord. Kevin Rusly and Jimmy are also doing well. They are so busy these days with their family business. They told me that it is not as easy as people might think to help their parents in the family business. There are many challenges and competition especially in Jakarta ... I also met edwin and christine. It is still a mystery for me whether they are a couple or not, but they already got a job and are doing well in indo in terms of settling down and all that, thank God.

In surabaya, I met some of my friends from my old church in Malang. They have not changed much at all. I am glad to see them. We had dinner in one restaurant, did some catching up and organize another gathering at my friend's place. It was quite fun.

God also gave me one or two chances in these past couple of weeks to talk about Jesus to my auntie, cousins, and mum. It wasn't planned at all, and it just happened that I had a chance. I was so scared to share the gospel to my relatives. It is easier to share it with a friend or someone that you meet on the street. With family, you usually know each other well and I am not used to do it anyway. If I could, I don't want to share at that time, but I did. All of them told me that they either had some bad experiences with christian, or have seen things which preacher, church or christians should not do. These days, they mainly think that church has become some kind of business organization. The large part of it is about money, offering. The church/preacher expect the congregation to give lots of money and when the congregation needs help financially, no one at church are willing to help. I guess it is not a fair comment considering there are many missionaries in indo, risking their neck for the sake of the gospel. Mum also raise issues of worshipping ancestors according to chinese customs, money, and so on. Tried to explain gently to her, and I think she understand but still disagree with me on many things. At least I've let her know my beliefs and feelings in God. It is very rare that I open myself that much to her and I am glad I did share. As for my dad, we also talked a lot which is very rare. I got to know and understand him better and although he is not as expressive as my mum in showing his love for me, I know that deep down he loves me. We laughed a lot during the trip to Jakarta and it was quite fun.

Fiuhh .. Indo ... I am gonna miss you

Sydney: too good to be true

I had this feeling that sydney is such a good place for me. What more can you ask? I had wonderful friends, fellowship, workplace, and place to stay (the last one is relative though :) ) ... It is like everything is going well when I am in sydney ... But is it a real world? Can all the good things that happen to me in sydney continue forever?

In indo, I see many things differently ... The world here is so much different to sydney ... To start, I don't have fellowship where I can serve and to support me as well since I became a christian in Malang and the church that I went to was a pentacostal church .. In business world it is a lot dirtier than I thought ... In terms of relationship between my family and relatives, there are many politics going on ... Here, my relatives look up to me .. They think very highly of me, it is like i am a superstar or somethin ... I also see many sufferings in indo ... so many of them, even among people close to my heart .. Whether I like it or not, it is just much more complicated here ... Many things I don't want to do, but I just have to do it ...

I realize that as adult I can't run from all those problems ... I don't want to run .. I want to face them ... I just thought, are all the good things that happen to me in sydney somethin that real to me? Real means that is where God wants me to be ... Should I be in indo and facing all these problems? I don't know ... Only time will tell later ...

On a happier note, God has blessed me in my study .. I've been accepted for master degree for next year ... and I've been able to keep my weight despite all the "Good" food, snacks in indo ... hahahahhaaha ..... thank you Lord ... cen te xie2 NI ..

Joshua 24:
14 "Now fear the LORD and serve him with all faithfulness. Throw away the gods your forefathers worshiped beyond the River and in Egypt, and serve the LORD . 15 But if serving the LORD seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your forefathers served beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD ."

Weird situation ..

My mum sms(ed) me yesterday at 1 o'clock in the morning saying one of the bikkhu that she used to ask help from is in sydney now (not sure why he is here) and trying to contact me. She asked me to help him if he needs help. This morning, the bikhu sms(ed) me and ask me to call him on a certain number. I thought, I don't mind helping him as my mum's friend if he really needs help, but I don't think he needs any help at all. I don't have cars and I am working, can't spend too much time with him and I don't want to. He should have some place to sleep I guess, and my place doesn't have enough room in case he wants to spend the night at my place.

I guess he just want to meet me, and talk to me ... Honestly, at first I was worried ... A bikhhu, talking to me? hehe .. sounds a bit weird ... what should I say to him? What will he say to me? Will he stay at my place? Will he give me a jimat? hahahah .. of course bakal ditolak kalo diberi ... Should I talk about religion to him? He will be interested in talking about buddhism to me I guess , I don't really know ...

My current stance is I will regard him as my parents' friends and give him a hand if he needs help. I don't want to spend too much time with him, but I don't want to give the impression that I am impolite to both my parents and the bikhuu as well. It is just that I need the wisdom to do that. This will be interesting actually ... another God-given adventure/experience of my life ..

Well, what would you do if you are in my situation now?

Hayo Jujurr

Too many of my blog entries are about my personal struggles/experiences in life ... kali ini nyantai dikit yah ... hehehehe ... main jujur2 an de .. heheh .. this is taken from friendster's bulletin board .. I thought it is fun .. :)

Jujur2an questions:

1.kamu tuh orangnya gimana?

• Aku orangnya loud (dalam hal suara), n suka yg simple simple. Yg sederhana2 aja lah ... hehehehe ..
  

2.jujur pernah boongin ortu?

• Sering ... namanya juga anak ... masa ga pernah siiii
  

3.jujur pernah mencoba bunuh diri?

• Ngga banget .. buat apa bunuh diri ...
  

4.Jujur! Pernah coba n make narkotik?

• nope .. ....
  

5.jujur pernah suka ama orang?

• Aduhhh .. ya jelas pernah la .. beberapa kali sejak SMP ... hahaha ... my masa puber .. jadi inget waktu2 dulu .. masa2 indah waktu SMP dan SMA .... huaaaaaaa .. I miss those happy times ..
  

6.jujur pernah selingkuh?

• ga pernah ... doi aja belum pernah punya
  

7.jujur pernah mabok?

• agak mabok sih pernah pusing2 gitu ... tapi ga terlalu gimana gitu ... langsung tidur kok abis itu di college dulu. Besoknya juga oke oke aja ga sampe muntah2 atau gimana .. Dari pengalaman itu I guess kalo gua mabok bisa jadi lebih hyper kali ya ... forget about your problems and all that ... but that's not really a good thing ... nanti kalo udah abis kan masalah ada lagi ... ^^ .. Tapi waktu itu minum alcohol abis acara bush dance di International House ... bukan gara2 ada masalah atau apa ....
  

8.jujur pernah ngerokok?

• Pernah sekali waktu SMP dulu .. coba2 ama teman satu kamar kost .. langsung batuk2 .. huekkkkkkkk ... ga enak banget .. terus ga pernah lagi
  

9.Jujur pernah kehilangan hp?

• Ga penah tuh ..
  

10.Jujur pernah nonjok orang?

• Yah .. beberapa kali lah ... namanya cowok ... nonjok jun my brother sering juga .. heheh .. di tangan tapi ... kita sering main tonjok2 an waktu kecil ... kalo udah gitu si mama langsung marah2 tangan si adik pada biru2 ... upss .. sorry jun ...
  

11.Jujur pernah kecelakaan?

• Pernah ... kecelakaan di luar kota waktu mengunjungi one of my friend .... ga parah2 amat sih .. amit2 ... nabrak angkot ... waktu itu gemeter banget soalnya masih kecil banget umurnya ... sendirian lagi di tengah jalan di luar kota ... ada polisi lewat pula, untung ga berhenti .. hauhauhauhauha ... selamet selamett .. huhhhh
  

12.Jujur pernah punya pacar?

• ga pernah ni ..
  

13.apakah kamu sekarang sudah punya pacar?

• nope, kok pertanyaannya diulang2 ya?? @_@
  

14.JUJUR kenapa kamu bisa suka ma cewe/cowo?

• emmmmm ... kenapa ya? I guess cewe nya cinta Tuhan, itu yg paling pertama ... kalo dari muka/body ya of course yg gua suka la ... kalo dari sifat maybe I like someone yg simple2 and sederhana, mandiri dan punya prinsip dan pengertian ... terus yg lucu juga kalo bisa .. hahahahha ...
  

15.JUJUR siapa mantan kamu yang paling kamu sayang?

• Pacar ga pernah punya oiii .. apalagi mantan ...
  

16.JUJUR siapa gebetan kamu saat ini?

• ga ada kok ..
  

17.JUJUR apakah kamu lagi pengen pacaran?

• Hahahahah ..... ga tau mo jawab apa .. I guess waiting for God's time is the best ..
  

18.JUJUR tipe ce/co yang kamu idam2kan?

• Yg cinta Tuhan .. baca amsal pasal terakhir ... kayak gitu de pokoknya ... heheheh ...
  

19.JUJUR!!!!!!!! siapa orang yang lagi dekat denganmu untuk saat ini??

• Deket sih banyak ... tapi temen doank ... Kalo for relationship, ga ada at the moment ...
  

20.JUJUR!!!!!!!! apa orang yang sedang dekat denganmu itu termasuk gebetan? ;p

• ngga ....hehehhehehe
  

21.JUJUR!!!!!!!! apa yang kamu inginkan saat ini?

• Ingin all my family members to come to know Christ .. :) .. serius amat .. but that's true though .... And I want all my friends, flatmates juga know Jesus ... orang2 di sekitar kali ya ....
  
• Pingin do master juga taun depan ... *so many things yg I want to do actually in my life* ... so maybe in some other blog entry de .. hehehehe ... terlalu banyak keinginan .. *Aku ingin begini, aku ingin begitu, ingin ini, ingin itu banyak sekaliiiii* (doraemon song) .. hahahah ...
  

dapur gereja

The title of my entry is in indonesian which means church's kitchen. Well, there is an old saying that says something like "if you go to a restaurant, don't go to its kitchen". Just enjoy the food without knowing the "inside" of how the restaurant made the meal, the meal's ingridients and so on. As long as it tastes good, that's all you care about. :)

It could be like that also with church. Many people only come to church, sit, sing, sermon, say little hi, say good bye (5 S's) .. hehehe ... It is tasty, yes .. enjoyable, yes ...

Why did I tell you this? Well, I just knew a couple of church problems recently which I can't share in this blog .... Problems that are not really something big (at least for me), but made big by circumstances and people .... Problems are always everywhere, how we handle problems are what matters I guess ... I realized now that Om Joe and Om joni are facing so many problems and dillemas in serving as pastors at our church ... I should be regularly praying for them, I guess, and thank God of what they've done for God's church and for God .. Been guilty of not doing that ... :( .. It's soooooo not easy being church pastors ...

Back to school

I am going back to school next year. Planning to do MCOM at UNSW. Currently filled out an application, waiting to be sent electronically to the uni. If God willing, I should know whether I will be accepted or not before the end of January.

coz I am not ......... perfect

What do you think is the best way to learn to be more patient? Is there any exercises that teach you how to become more patient in life?

Just to share a bit, one of my weaknesses is I am not a patient person. I like to do things fast and efficient ... I usually takes initiative (not all the time), don't mind in helping out and may expect certain things from people ... If you are a close friend of mine, you will know.

That's me and my character ... I am usually become impatient when I expect something to be done by a person (his/her responsibility) but he/she has not done it or he/she has done something far from my expectation. For example, in a group meeting, if I have asked my friend to do a particular thing, but he/she neglected it. I could have high expectations which might be a problem for some people .. :) ... but I have expectations (as most people are) .... from parents, brothers, friends, lecturers, preachers, leaders, flatmates, and so on. When everything is smooth, I can look good and smily, otherwise I become this impatient monster WHICH I REALLY HATE. I want to be more patient .. I wish I can pretend to be a patient person, but I am not ... I am who I am ... learning to be more patient, struggle with it ...

Funny enough, the bible talks about a patient God ... If you read the old testament, you will know how patient God is to His people Israel ... So many times the israelites dissapointed God, but God's mercy saved them again and again from their enemy. God was really hurt you know, no kidding ... He was hurt a lotttt ... Even Jesus cried during His walk to Jerusalem

"O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, you who kill the prophets and stone those sent to you, how often I have longed to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, but you were not willing!" (Luke 13:34)

Well, that's not really the end of the story ... Even though God is patient, yet He is just. That's why He punished Jesus on the cross. That really shows how great are the consequences of my sins and your sins .. Even so, that verse really describes how God feels about Jerusalem/God's people disobeying God .. As for me, sadly that happens too .. So many times in my life that I've dissapointed God and yet He forgave all my sins ... that's why the bible says "Forgive as the Lord has forgiven you" ... not with our own strength, our own good ...

That is good news for me ... Happy news ... Why? Because everytime I get impatient with someone, I don't have to pretend that I am patient .... coz I am not .... But I can pray to God asking for His patience in me .. trying to remember His patience and try to forgive as the Lord forgave me. After all, I do make my parents, friends, brother, flatmates angry too ... It's not like I am perfect or somethin, coz I am not .... I am who I am by His grace ...

what a year this has been

Year 2004 - hmm ... so many things happen in my life .. It will end soon though .. Come to think of it, I am thankful that I can live this year as it is. There were many struggles, many temptations, many experiences, many victories, many failures, many sins that I've done/experienced during the year. As a matter of fact, this year I lost two of my jempol kuku di kaki ... hahaha .. something to remember ... definitely don't want to repeat it again .. :) ... Really need to start doing some reflection though ....

Btw, found triana's blog ..welcome tri to blog community .. hehehe ... sering2 diupdate ya ..

Psalm 90:12: Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.
*dah 25 nih taun depan* .. diitung diitung diitungg .. hahahahhahahah .... I'll share some of my thoughts later on .. maybe when I am in indo, enjoying and struggling with my holiday ...

at lidia's place .. all happy faces .. :] 

Me ronny and Budi 

Triana's blog

I heard that Triana has made a blog too .. Does anyone know what the URL address is? :] .. Tri, if you are reading, tell me ok .. forgot to ask u last saturday ..

Itu

Suddenly want to make poem ... don't even know what it means :]

"Itu" datang itu pergi
Seperti angin sepoi sepoi,
Sebentar kerasa lalu habis entah kemana pergi

Darahku bergelora panik
Ku mulai mencari dan mencari
Dengan berpeluh dibawah matahari
Keringat salju menetes di dahi
Takut gemetar melanda hati

Akankah selamanya hilang, tanya hati
Akankah kutemukan lagi
Akankah kuterus mencari
Akankah datang dan pergi lagi

Today!

Nothing much happened today. It is just another day. Another day of work and rest. Another day of my life. Came to the office at around 9.30, did some work straight away. I have a website project for one of our client due this Friday. I was trying to fix some bugs in the web application today, and was caught up in my work until lunch time. Managed to solve some difficult problems during that time ... I was singing "We are the champion" spontatenously because of that and kept singing the song for quite some time with a pretty loud voice .. *not that loud rite hans?* .. :) .. Everyone near me was sort of looking/listening at me, maybe thinking what is this guy so happy about? :) ... well, .... :) ...

Did not have rice for lunch today, just the cooked dishes from catering. That is because I could not find rice in my rice cooker this morning, so I ended up just bringing the dishes without the rice :( .. I thought it should be enough since I had coffee with lots of sugar just half-hour before lunch.

After lunch, me and hans went to bible means business (BMB) in the greenwood bar. The topic today was about the Stepford wifes. Learnt a lot today from what the speakers said, what God really design a marriage for. Still trying to digest his points as there were quite a number of them. Last week's topic was specifically directed towards the husband and this week the wife. Next week will be about parenting, how to become parents that God wants you to be. I can sense today that the speaker was a bit cautious about the whole issue since the idea of a wife submitting to husband in the context of marriage is highly unpopular these days ...

Quoting one thing that the speaker say: "a woman is to submit to a man in the context of marriage. Notice that it does not mean that women should submit to all men in other circumstances, not in workplace, not in the office, not in general sense." This brings back memory of my last bible study preparation with IPCYF bible study leaders about this topic. It is still not resolved yet though ...

After BMS, went back straight to the office .. still singing the song we are the champion .. It stucked on my head for some reason ... It stopped though, not long after that ... I continued the work until one of my work mate told me there is a problem with ACS system. One of our colleague changed something in the source code. It was a couple of line changes only, but the effect was huge. The letters generated by the system since 1/11/2004 are all corrupted .. woww!!!! My friend and I had to spend time to fix it ... It was around 4.30PM when he told me about the problem. We tried all we can to restore the corrupted documents. After long and hard hours (of debugging, coding, updating the exes, repositories, databases extraction), I thought we managed to fix the problem .. but after doing a couple of testing, it was obvious that the problem was only half-fixed ... It was 8PM already.. I was so hungry .. I didn't have rice for lunch .. I wanted to leave the office to get some snack, but the closest shop is not that close at all, and I was so eager to fix the problem ASAP. Everytime we thought we fixed it, there was still something left un-fixed ...

Fiuhh ... I tried to be patient ... and thank God I did ... Tried to calm my friend as he was pretty tired and nervous at that time .. I thought it's good that we are doing this together .. I wouldn't have stayed alone until 10PM with my stomach craving for food ... This friend of mine is a very persistent, hard-working guy ... I almost gave up when the clock reached 9.30PM ... But he just wanted to finish it tonight ... Well, I did not feeling good of leaving him with the problem alone .. So I stayed .. It was a good thing that I stayed ... In the end, we managed to fix the problem ... we tried all possible test cases to break it, but it seemed to work alright ... fiuuhhh .. at last ...

It was 10.05PM when I left the office, my stomach was really hurt ... I decided to stop at town hall and bought a KFC ... enjoyed it (as usual :)).. had 3 piece feed meal today .. I thought I deserved a good meal after all that .. hahahahahahha ....

Well that was pretty much my day in detail, how's yours?

**Every day is a good day because God is present no matter how bad your situation is, G'DAY**

Lays, Kettle, Smiths, Doritos

Feel dizzy after eating one pack of Doritos today ... Aussie chips/snakcs are very tasty ... My favorite is definitely Kettle but I rarely eats it since it's quite expensive ... Do u think chips are good for ur body?

New bloggers!!

Welcome to Kenny and Vic Lay to the blogger community!!! hehe .. sering update2 yo .. maybe triana will also make one soon! heheh ...

As for my day today, ............. zzz ... zzz... zzzz... zzzz ... I slept and had a rest almost whole day .. hahahha .. sleep sleep sleep to make up for my lost sleep during the week and on the weekend ... Just got up now and couldn't sleep anymore .. had too much sleep hahahah a..

Oh ... Muri and Kevin from my bible study just had birthday .. congrats to them!! Their bday is so close together .. hehe .. makes it easier to celebrate .. Kevin (and Muri I suppose) treated us to an italian rest in bondi last week ... The food that I had was spagheti somethin .. (prawny/seafood spaghetti maybe) it was really really really good and tasty ... italiano .. no surprise .. hahahahhaha .. thanks kev ... One not-so-good thing that happened on the day was the cake that I brought .. it was a munge cake ... I don't know whether all munge cakes melt easily or is it just michelle's munge cake .. hahah .. so disappointed ... The look of the cake was excellent .. well, look can be deceiving rite .. hauhauhauhauha .... I don't think I'll be buying munge cake for a while now ... As for Muri, she "ran" away on Saturday so we couldn't celebrate it together at church ... haha .. I'll meet up with kev and mur this coming Friday in BS anyway ...