Yayyy!! No more exam and evening classes

Fiuhhh ... at last .. I just finished my last exam today ... I think it went alright .... No more evening classes sounds really good .. hehe ... enjoying my life to the fullest ...

Relationship conceptualised

Relationship is like a cycle of love and trust:

• First it starts with love and trust .. Trust enables you to share life freely without fear ..
  

• It needs lots of courage to even start a relationship ... Trusting/loving people opens up a door to get hurt, because people is people. People is bound to hurt one another ...
  

• This is where love comes in ... Love forgives and is powerful enough to rebuild trust ..
  

• and so on and so on ....
  

**Endless cycle of love and trust**

**Falling deeper and deeper in love with someone,**
**we will be hurt more and more **

**Even so people still will still fall in love right?**

2 down .. one to go

2 exams down, 1 to go ... I wish this will be over soon .. The last one will be pretty hard though ..

First exam tomorrow

Well, here I am sitting in front of my PC and about to sleep .. My head is spinning around .. It hurts!!! and I am going to sit in my first master course exam tomorrow ... How do I best describe my feeling right now .. I think I just want it to be over soon ... That's all I ask ....

Last night I had a dream about me sitting in the exam, forgetting to bring important materials and ended up doing badly in the exam ... I hope it is just a dream ... Right now I just want to get some nap ... My head, my eyes, my neck, my body, everything feel sore ....

Yoshhh!! Exam .. Bring it on!!!

Today ... I switch my mood to exam mood ... I feel like I am going to war and so pumped up that I want to win so badly ... hehehe ... Pray for me that I may use my time wisely these 2 weeks ... !!!!!

Unless the Lord builds, VANITY

I like to put my thoughts in blog and this is probably another entry of that kind. It sounds depressing, but somehow I'd like to retain those thoughts to remind me about what's really important ...

Last night, I was doing some thinking ... As usual, I took my guitar, sit on the couch outside, play softly and start thinking ... I was thinking about many things .... My family, my friends, my church, my work, my efforts, my future, my plan, my home, my bible study, my study, and so on. I was thinking and thinking and thinking, while I held my guitar and playing it anyway I felt like playin .... It was so quiet outside .. I could hear water dripping from the toilet but that was it .... so peaceful, so comforting, and so quiet ... This was around 3 am in the morning ... so you can imagine what it is like ....

While in that situation, I was reminded about one verse:

Psalm/Mzm 127:1
Unless the LORD builds the house, its builders labor in vain.
Unless the LORD watches over the city, the watchmen stand guard in vain.

Jikalau bukan TUHAN yang membangun rumah, sia-sialah usaha orang yang membangunnya;
jikalau bukan TUHAN yang mengawal kota, sia-sialah pengawal berjaga-jaga.

"That is just so TRUE" ... in my heart I said ...

I've experienced many things which unless the Lord builds, it is in vain ... But I was thinking again, surely men/women has done great things on earth ... great leaders like Martin Luther King, Nelson Mandela, Mother Theresa who is a champion of human rights, Napoleon who conquered Europe ....

So what does it mean then? Should I wait or should I do something? Will YOU build if I do not build?

The more I ponder into these questions, I was reminded of ecclesiastes series that we have done at Pemuda..Yes, the verse is so true that unless the Lord builds, open up a way, no men can fight against it .. This is done so that men/women may revere God who is the creator of all things ... This does not mean that we should do nothing ... Men/Women should build but at the same time we should acknowledge that it is because of the Lord's help that we can build it ... All glory in the end goes back to HIM ....

I was also reminded of David, king of israel ... I am just amazed how in his early life, he is described as a man after God's own heart ... He always asked God whether he should do something or not .... He acknowledged the Lord in all his ways and trusted the Lord ... and this is maybe where we are lacking today .... We might think that we have great programs/plans in mind, busy with "good" things in life, running 3 bible studies, active in ministry, doing higher education, work hard, doing business, but we fail to realise that unless the Lord builds, everything is meaningless ....

So whatever things that we have in our minds, let us acknowledge that unless the Lord builds the house, its builders labour in vain.

Life update

Well, I am starting to get used to busy life. Life is busy, but I am happy. Everyday is fulfilling and I have no regrets at all. A couple of random updates about me and people around me

• I am juggling with work and exam at the moment which will be on the 20, 22 and 27 of June. Started some revision already and aiming for PASS only this time. If I get distinction, I will be really happy. hehhehe ... Really happy!!! I mean it ...
  
• Currently doing 5000 words essay due this Thursday ... What a pain!!! Getting there, and thank God it is a group project. Group project has taught me a number of things: how to work with different people and trust that person to do his/her job well, which is a good thing. I have also learnt about how to manage group project better. Communication and trust really plays an important role to get work done properly.
• A bit sick (cold + caugh) today, I don't think I will go to work tomorrow. That means I will use the time to do my essay.
• One of my best friend, Jeff is going back to indo for good ... I need to contact him to have a farewell party before he goes back to Medan ... I wonder if I'd have the time to do that ...
  
• I envy my brother Jun these days ... He just finished his exam and got nothing to do the whole day ... Just relaxing and playing games, sleep, eat ... Fiuh .. what a good life man!!
• Jun just bought me a DVD player recently as my bday present .. Yay!! That means I can watch DVD whenever I am bored with my study now ... Video ezy is just closeby anyway!! hehehe ...
  
• And now, just have to benkyo benkyo!! Ganbate oooo!!!
  

True friends

Friends are hard to find. People make friends with other people and working together, encouraging each other, hurting each other and so on.

I am thankful that I have lots of friends and I am able to find some that I can trust .... Trust is the key to friendship and I just wanna give thanks to God because of this. Friends to me are very important, they add colours to my life, and life would be just boring without friends. They are there to share happy/sad moments in life and to give advise when needed sometimes. It will be interesting to see how all my friends going in 10, 20, or 30 years time? hehehe ...

Old man forgiveness!

It is funny that I feel the older you get, the harder it is to forgive someone. I can understand now, getting older (25 years of age) and all that. Sometimes, the matter is too serious and the stake is so high that it is just not in the agenda. To forgive does not necessarily to support that person keep doing wrong things to you and sometimes we should rebuke the person who has done wrong to us out of love for him/her. But I believe love should dominate our way of thinking.

When Paul said: "Forgive as the Lord has forgiven you", does that mean that we should forgive and suppress our anger? Since the model there is God's anger is still being pour out to Jesus, it is not free and there is a price that must be paid by someone. How about us? When we are angry with someone because he/she has done wrong to us, who should receive punishment?

Is it Jesus? Jesus died for my sin, yes, but this is not a matter between me and God, it is between me and other human being.
Is it us? maybe
Is it the person who has done wrong to us? I don't know, but if it is the other person, can it still be called forgiveness?
Who else?
Who should be punished?

"This is how the world will know that you are my disciple, if you love one another"
Arrghhhh, why is life so complicated? :)

Political matter

I always hate being so political. I don't see the point of doing it at all and I see it as an evil thing. Why? Because what you see might not reflect the heart of a person and that to me look like a hypocrite.

But now slowly I come to think that politics has its own place and it is not about saying/acting things that are different to your heart. It is a matter of knowing when to say/act and when to refrain from doing it. Being political is sometimes a good thing and I want to learn doing it more, but stay true to my heart at the same time.

MengenalMu

Bila ku buka mataku dan lihat wajahMu
Ku terkagum
Bila ku lihat hidupku dan karya tanganMu
Ku tersanjung

[Bridge]
Kar’na semua yang baik dalam hidupku
Itulah karyaMu
Kau bri kes’mpatan yang baru

[Chorus]
Dan ku ingin mengenalMu Tuhan
Lebih dalam dari
S’mua yang ku kenal
Tiada kasih yang melebihiMu
Ku ada untuk menjadi penyembahMu