stress banget

Mann, I feel like crying ... so many problems and tugas2 menanti di depan ... I don't feel like working, studying, pelayanan, or doing anything at all ... Just wanna sleep in my bed kalo bisa ...

But tugas still is tugas and masalah harus dihadapi .... so until then I wanna learn to persevere and ask for God's wisdom ...

Lord, I am scared

Lord, I am scared ...
I am scared of many things around me ...
It's like being in the middle of the cross roads ... not knowing where to turn ...
Not knowing where to go and what to do ...
I am afraid of teaching and speaking Your Word but not putting it into practice myself ...
I am scared of becoming a hypocrite and putting your Name into shame ....

So many things I've said about You in front of other people .....
Only You and You Alone know my heart .....
You alone know me because You made me .....
You look into the deepest heart of men ....
Keep my heart O Lord
Keep it true and true

I know Your Word is true
Sanctify me in Your truth ....
Make me brave and strong like a warrior ....
Please give me strength when I am weak .....
Make me committed to live Your way ...
So I might declare Your name among my love ones and my enemies ....

Joshua 1:9 - Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go."

Hope

Hari hari ku penuh dengan ini dan itu
Banyaaakkkk banget
Buatku tenggelam ke dalam lumpur kehidupan
Kehilangan arah mata angin menderu

Mau kemana aku ini pikirku
Hal hal kecil sepele pun ku tak sanggup hadapi
Kapankah ini berakhir
Dimanakah aku kan berakhir

Kucoba berdiri lagi ...
Kataku "Ayo bangunnnnn, jangan tidur terus"
Ku mencoba naiki lumpur lumpur yang menimbun
Kulihat diriku dan badanku di cermin kehidupan
kotor dan penuh kotoran bau pesing
Tiada lagi diriku yang kukenal dulu ...

Ditengah kekotoran diri ku berteriak HOPE HOPE HOPE
Teriakan yang keluar dari benak seorang yang kotor dan bau
Hope akan hari bahagia di depan
Hari dimana tiada lagi kotoran kotoran bau pesing
Hari dimana lumpur lumpur ditimbun kemuliaan
Kemuliaan Allah juru selamat ku

Man of integrity + accountability

Just wanna share one important point from Men's Katoomba Convention (MKC) that I attended today ...

There is a saying out there that when a man is pushed to his limit, the true character will come out ... It is at the time of crisis when (un)godliness can be seen at its clearest ... I think there is an element of truth in that statement ...

Well, I went to MKC today with several of my church's buddies (thanks to all the drivers ^_^) and the topic was about the sermon on the mount ... One thing that strike me was the talk about being a man of integrity ... I knew about the topic before and the importance of being the man of God with integrity, but it is good to be reminded about it again and I learnt a lot about the topic as well today ...

These days, we need men in whatever profession they profess to live their lives full of integrity ... According to what Jesus said in the sermon on the mount, a man of integrity live his life as if he is standing in front of ONE audience, that is God the Father Himself ...

Pray secretly, Give secretly, Fast secretly, so your Father in heaven sees it and reward you ...

It's like living in constant awareness of God's presence and fearing Him ... Not living our lives in front of MANY audiences for the purpose of them seeing how good we are, but we live our lives for God so when others see our good deeds, the ONE audience will receive praise and honour ...

I realize that integrity comes with hard work and discipline ... it does not come easily like snapping our fingers ... We need other christians to keep us accountable to God ... This is where the concept of accountability is important, even in business world these days ... I know that the head of Macquarie Bank Financial Services Group emphasizes the concept of accountability for its employees ... Maybe it is a good idea to have other men that we can trust as a christian to keep us accountable in our daily life and struggle to live a life full of integrity ...

The world longs for a man with integrity in their thoughts, behaviour and words ... Have we stood up for the challenge, not just knowing in our head, but work hard to achieve it with the Holy Spirit's help? May this be an challenge to all of you ...