Kasih setia Tuhan (God's faithfulness)

When someone mention about the word "kasih setia Tuhan", the first thing that I remember is definitely a song with this lyrics:

Kasih setia Tuhan, didalam hidup ini
Tak pernah berkesudahan, slalu baru tiap pagi
Saat jalanku buntu, glap di seklilingku
.........

Love that song ... hehehe... I am just thankful that I can go through the year 2005, with all its ups and downs ... Finished exams for this year, and 2 more semester to go ... I feel God's been helping me with everything and his presence is the most important thing ... There was a good illustration in the sermon at church this morning ... A husband is satisfied with the wife, not because maybe she can cook well or serve the husband and the children well, but just the presence of a wife in the husband's life is the most important out of all ... The presence of a godly wife is what all christian husband should appreciate ...

Year 2005:
1. Stress pelayanan - kasih setia Tuhan
2. Stress belajar - kasih setia Tuhan
3. Stress kerjaan - kasih setia Tuhan
4. Stress relationship - kasih setia Tuhan
5. Friend's support - kasih setia Tuhan
6. Bible study group - kasih setia Tuhan
7. Growth in my christian life - kasih setia Tuhan
8. All troubles and hardship - kasih setia Tuhan
9. Reminder from God's word - kasih setia Tuhan
10. IPC - kasih setia Tuhan
11. Persekutuan pemuda - kasih setia Tuhan
12. Friends at uni and work - kasih setia Tuhan
13. Family - kasih setia Tuhan
14. A job - kasih setia Tuhan
15. Holiday - kasih setia Tuhan

Now I am in holiday mood .... uheuheuheueh ... played around with friends a lot these past couple of days ... had lots ... no ... TONS of fun ... This is also a blessing ... Kapan lagi bisa main2 kayak gini ... sedikit waktu lagi, and maybe I have a family to support and will not have time to play ... Now I just want to enjoy my holiday .... maybe reading books is a good idea, or I am thinking of doing a project for myself and my parent's shop in indo ... we'll see lah ... But definitely going out is in the agenda .. hohoho ...

Interested to buy "Narnia" by C.S Lewis ... heard that Alastairs have the series and I am thinking of buying as well ... I should enjoy reading stories like that ... Part of me is still a kid kok ... :)

Pingin banget pulang indo

Huaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa ... Imagining indo just makes me really want to go back ... It's a combination of wanting to take a break, a good break with family, enjoying myself and my family presence .. Sadly I do not have enough annual leave and hence I am just staying here, taking 2 weeks break from work ...

I guess I just have to live with it ...

Stressful time

I can't say that I hate exam, because I consider it as a stepping stone to a higher place .. cieh cieh ... But I have to admit, that it's overwhelmingly and stressfully depressing ...

Reading lecture notes and textbooks for hours and hours and hours in the postgraduate commerce lab makes my neck hurt and on top of that I really lack motivation .... J asked me on Sunday why do I study so hard? I guess I just have to do what I have to do ... It's as simple as that ... I decided to take this course and I need to be responsible for it .... By not studying will send a bad example to people around me ...

On another occassion, I saw God worked in a wonderful way ... V, N and J saw a movie in the cinema (exorcism) and they had questions in their mind about that movies ... After they saw the movie, they started asking me all sorts of questions about demon, whether feng shui is alright or not, what does religion mean to them, and so on ... I always wanted to at least talk to V and N and J about God more often ... But did not have time to do so even though I am going out a lot with them for dinner ... And when I have the opportunity I was reluctant to do that, the occassion was just not right ... Tried to answer all of their questions and surrender everything to God ... But from that, I learnt some important lessons:

1. No matter how hard you try to testify, it's God who is ultimately behind everything
2. Knowing about the bible is good, but it must be backed up with a changed life .... Living a consistent godly life is hard and needs conscious effort ...
3. We must always want to learn more about God ... Quoting H: The time when we stop being teachable is the time when we stop growing as a person ..
4. Surrender to God to the MAX, Effort to the MAX, and always be thankful to the MAX
5. Be ready all the time to say the hope that is in you ... When I was asked those questions, I was a bit down spiritually and a bit tired as well ... I thought I was not ready, but I am glad that I was so full of energy answering the questions given to me .. haha ..

Gengki gengki ..

I know

Now I know
the pain of caring for someone but cannot express it in words
Now I know
the pain of wanting to see an important person saved
Now I know
the pain of being patient in the midst of storm
Now I know
the anguish that comes with a heavy heart

But more than that I know
that my God is greater than anything
Oo I know
that in my weakness I am made strong
Yes I know
that I am powerless but God is powerful
Most importantly I know
that He cares

Yes, I know.....

First Experience buying share

I just bought a share and made $560.82 in one day ..... Good first impression of the stock market, but I was ready to loose the money anyway!!! (wait until the market crash di, and u won't be so excited anymore)!!Sold the share already and take the money out! :)

MAS - FSG Conference

Well, maybe you wonder what MAS-FSG really mean? It is basically one division in Macquarie bank where I work for ... emm ...

MAS was held for two days, one night in Novotel Hotel, Wollonggong ... It was the whole MAS (one of Macquarie division) gathered and I met lots of people on that day .... Enjoyed the meal, the friendship and the whole experience ... But I found the talk was a bit dull ... I really like the gathering part and meeting up with new people (and of course my friends) and talking to them ...

The novotel was located near the beach.. I loovvvvee beach ... so I enjoyed it a lot ... Overall a fun experience and if I wished I could stay there a bit longer !!!

Today is saturday!

Horee ... Saturday is here after all hard work in the past week ... Thank God for weekends haha ...

Well well ... I guess I have to start studying now !! Can't be relaxing all day !!

Cayo to myself!!! and all my seperjuangan friends !!! We can do IT! .. emm ... with God and hard works!

Update from my *so called busy* life

1. Hmm ... I just got two results from one assignment and exam and I am quite dissapointed ... I was expecting them to be a higher than that .... But that's not what I want to share here ... On my way home today, I realized that I should give thanks in whatever situation it may occur ... I had gone through worse situations in the past and this is just little things in my way ... Just learnt from Romans, in the end it will work for good to those who love God, making more like Jesus, maybe more patient, generous, joyful and so on ... Now, I just have to pick myself up again and work little by little in this 4 weeks time ...

2. I guess I am a little tired of studying ... I can't really study much at home ... so many distractions ... by the time I got home, I am dead tired ... my body just won't function anymore ... :) ...

3. Just submitted exchange application form today ... next step is interview with the exchange officer ... Maybe I will do it over the phone .. It saves me from going back to uni during lunch time :)

4. Had a discussion about religion with work mates but it was going no where ... It was about why Christian was so strict about going out only with other christian .... Why can't we just respect others without trying to change the other partner to follow the same beliefs?*I don;t think christians forced the other party to become christian, God doesn't force us either* Tried to give an argument but I don't think it worked ... haha ... **I think arguing never works in the first place anyway when the two parties hold to their beliefs firmly**

5. I've Been going to work early these days ... so much work to do in the office ... it seems like I am burning out ... can't wait for the next 4 weeks to pass and I am free from UNI .. yippieeee ...

6. I learnt about company mergers and acquisitions in the lecture today ..... Funny enough, it is currently happening to one my uncle ... Someone is going to take over their shop forcefully ... I learnt some defense mechanism to prevent takeovers, but I don't think it will apply since they don't own the shop on paper ... It seems that they will have to leave the shop and let the other people takeover it ... what a sad story ..

7. I went through reading my blogs ... and yes .. it sounds depressing unlike me in real life :P ... haha ... I don't think I am depressed, but maybe I am a little without realizing it ... I will put some happy story later on ... I guess I should be joyful in whatever situation .. heuheuheuehueh ...

8. Tomorrow I am going for a 2 days company conference .. MAS (Macquarie something something) .. it should be fun .. we've planned so many things to do like playing board game ... I might bring some lecture note to read anyway ... I need to .. It's almost exam time ...

That's it from me ... Ciao!

Anxious about things

I am so anxious these days ... So many deadlines ... argh .. Feel like not in control with my situation ... But when you think about it, we are never in control anyway from the beginning ...

Just have to do it slowly and carefully ... Leave the rest to God ...
1. STUDY - I am a bit behind now .
2. Personal finance assignment
3. Exam on wk 14
4. Exchange application - so hard to arrange when I am working and studying ... not easy to find the lecturers and coordinators

Earn your respect!

I wish I could respect "B" like before, but I just can't .. I used to respect him a lot .. He seems nice, very knowledgable about God, mature and so on ... But after knowing this person I can't help it but dissapointed with the way he live ...

He does not live like other people think ... I guess, respect is earned by living ur life with integrity, keeping what you say and promise ... Earn it or u won't own it!

Share

Share - it is such a simple word ... but I think it has got a deep meaning ... It makes me want to share what I learnt these past months ... hehehhehe ...

These days I feel like people view me as a loner ... I don't talk as much as before, I don't gather with friends as much as before ... not because I can't but because these days I am really really busy ... I can still be someone yang heboh like before, hehe, I can even be more heboh than before .. hahahaha ... tapi sekarang I feel like talking only when it is needed ... Often I restrain myself from talking ... I feel like this is part of the process of growing ^^ ... I guess busyness makes me like this ....

Balancing between work, church, study, brother and friends and other things can be quite challenging ... fiuhh ... I sometimes feel guilty of not giving the best or when I don't divide up my time wisely, for friends, brother, and so on ... But I know God is good and He is always there whenever I call on Him ..

When I am alone or down (like doing assignment in commerce lab, haha), the only thing that keeps me going is the fact that God is good and He has shared his life with me ... I realize that in this life hate, bitterness, anger, joy, love must be shared with other people .... Sharing means active, not waiting /passive ... We might get no response, but keep trying ... All one can do is create his own path through hard work without being a loner and taking the easy route ... I wish that as the day unfold, in all things that I do, I will be able to share more and more ...

What good is it

for a MAN if he gains the whole world and yet ...
1. loses his soul
2. loses his family
3. loses all his friends
4. lives in bitterness and worry everyday
5. loses his God

What can the MAN give in exchange for those things? That would be a really sad story ... :(

First day back to uni - cape

Yesterday was the first time i was back to lecture in a while ... Mann, it was tiring ... I had to put heaps of effort just to stay awake *didn't understand most of what the lecturer said - haha - need to study* ... But it was good ... coz it reminded me to change my mood, after such a nice long break ...

These things awaits me in the next 7 weeks:
1. Personal Finance assignment
2. Capital Budgeting exam
3. Weekly online quizes for Investment Portfolio
4. Case studies for Investment Portfolio and Capital Budgeting
5. Final exams for those three subjects

Non-uni related thingy:
6. Meet Exchange officer and the faculty to submit the application form
7. Pay airfares to go back to indo
8. Bible study related stuffs
9. Buy mincer for mum
10. Apply for credit card
11. Buy ink for my printer
12. Change the electricity provider to AGL
13. etc ...

It comes down to 3 choices

Erasmus University of Rotredam - Netherlands
York University - Schullish Business School - Canada
Manchester Business School - England

Which one will it be? I can't wait to go ...

Jeremiah 20

Jeremiah 20:9
⁹ But if I say, "I will not mention him
or speak any more in his name,"
his word is in my heart like a fire,
a fire shut up in my bones.
I am weary of holding it in;
indeed, I cannot.

*maju maju terus*

Giving

It is hard to give ... especially for me who comes from a chinese background and are currently in a situation where I need money to pay for my school fee ... It's not that I am in financial difficulties, I can still save up quite a bit, but then the problem is I always want to save more ...

Well, since I started doing my study, I've always been very stingy ... I don't give as much as I used to be for the work of the gospel coz I felt in need .... I counted the profit and loss, and counted how much I will save by the end of the year if I give and if I don't give ...

It's such a struggle especially when your salary is getting a lot bigger than it used to be ... Should I give or should I give less?

Talking about giving, I realize that everything comes from God .. When I give, I will make sure from now on that I give it with all my heart .... I want to be reminded everytime I give that I love God that's why I give .... That's what has been missing this year ... I wanted to save for the future, but forget that giving is such an important part in our Christian life ... sharing, giving to those in need, to gospel ministry and to your home chuch is important and God cares about us giving our money, time and whole lives to Him ...

Plan Plan Plan: my decision

When you go to an interview session, the interviewer usually ask you about your short term and long term plan ... It can be hard to answer given that our future is highly unpredictable and you can only answer it the best you can ...

Well, I have sort of decided about my short-term plan ... In just days, I've decided to pursue a possibility of going overseas for exchange student program next year (second semester) ... I am hoping to go to the U.S for 1/2 year if possible. It all seems good, but after looking into it more, it is hard to find universities that have "compatible" program to M.COM at UNSW... Most of them have an agreement with MBA from AGSM but not MCOM. I just have to wait and see after I meet the UNSW international exchange adviser ... If I can't go to US, I might go to Singapore or Canada ...

On the other note, there are so many people (3P = parents, prenz, and pastor) these days that tries to match me with someone ... :) ... Well, I have to thank all of you for perhatiannya ... It flatters me a lot on how much all of you care .. and yet, after thinking about it, I have also decided .... to remain single until I finish my study next year, fully concentrate on my potential .... to grow more, and to serve more .. Then I will seriously think about who I want to marry ... Is it going to be a bit too late? Maybe ... But I have decided that I am not going into any relationship if I don't think I fully commit to it ... So, end of next year will be serious beginning of hunting period ... haha :) .. Yoshh!

*God, man can plan but you decide everything. I surrender my short term plan into Your hands*

It's been a killer 3 weeks

Mann, I think I've just experienced one of the most packed schedule in my life these past 3 weeks .... Glad it's all finished now and looking forward to the mid session break in 2 weeks time ...

Another Weekend has passed!

Another weekend has ended in a flash...These last 2 weeks was pretty hectic, but I should be fine by next weekend (must do 1 more exam plus assignment worth 40% and 30%) ... At least I will have a space to breathe until the final exam ..

A couple of things:
1. Rose is going to Toraja next week (bener ga sih?) for 3 weeks ... wish u a safe trip deh rose if u r reading ... and also bisa jadi berkat disono ...
2. Andy is going back to indo soon, for good ... I think I am going to miss him ... I have seen so many of my friends come and go ... But everytime ada yg pergi pasti sedih ... especially Andy is part of my bible study and he is good friend, hard working, and very caring kali too ...
3. Jemy is back!! He is going to stay here in Sydney with his wife ... and will probably apply the job vacancy at where I work now as IT support ...
4. Got a lot of CD from Hilda ... wih I don't think I will have a chance to listen to them all .... so busy busy ... but thanks anyway Hil ...
5. I think I am glad for the difficulties that I faced in my life so far ... I thank God because through all that, I can understand people with similar problem a little bit better ... One person in my bible study faced a problem that I faced about 1 year ago and I can testify how hard it was ... Been there before ... and hence I could at least try to encourage him (in my own way) to consider Christ seriously ...
6. I need to submit the leave form tomorrow .. I must plan to take leave during my final exam and want to take 3 weeks holiday in December ... The queue is very long already and I should delay no more .... Otherwise, no going back to indo this December .. walaw!
7. Bible study prep today was fun ... I feel like wanted to learn more about God and the bible ... The people was very critical and have the same desire to learn ... Even though I gave the impression of being bored, but was quite excited .... How good is that, learning the bible together with my fellow bros and sis ...
8. Had group meeting with my 5514 group. Lots of things still need to be done to complete the assignment due this Thursday ... Fiuhhh .. mati matiii
9. Tomorrow is mid-session exam for 5510 ... I have read the book but haven't look at the tutorial ... Must start now!
Until then my blog ... *Jane my blog*

*Mada mada dane*(not yet) and *moto moto*(stronger and stronger) ...

Peaceful life on earth? There is no such thing

I used to live a peaceful life with other people .. I think it is a priviledge, but come to think of it, there is a flip side to it ... I am not used to be in conflict with other people .. I always tend to make peace straight away ...

Life is so full of conflict and whether I like it or not, whether I am ready or not, it will happen ... I remember a couple of years ago, someone was pissed off at me ... I did not do anything wrong, but still I ended up to be the one saying sorry ... My friend whom I consulted said that I shouldn't feel that way ... That incident taught me a lot how to face life ... If you are not strong, people will do those nasty things to you ... I might do the same without even realizing it ....

What about us living as children of God? We should try to live a peaceful life if it depends on us ... do our best in every situation and show that we are not a wimp ... Be strong and loving sometimes is hard, but possible !