Yayyy!! No more exam and evening classes

Fiuhhh ... at last .. I just finished my last exam today ... I think it went alright .... No more evening classes sounds really good .. hehe ... enjoying my life to the fullest ...

Relationship conceptualised

Relationship is like a cycle of love and trust:

• First it starts with love and trust .. Trust enables you to share life freely without fear ..
  

• It needs lots of courage to even start a relationship ... Trusting/loving people opens up a door to get hurt, because people is people. People is bound to hurt one another ...
  

• This is where love comes in ... Love forgives and is powerful enough to rebuild trust ..
  

• and so on and so on ....
  

**Endless cycle of love and trust**

**Falling deeper and deeper in love with someone,**
**we will be hurt more and more **

**Even so people still will still fall in love right?**

2 down .. one to go

2 exams down, 1 to go ... I wish this will be over soon .. The last one will be pretty hard though ..

First exam tomorrow

Well, here I am sitting in front of my PC and about to sleep .. My head is spinning around .. It hurts!!! and I am going to sit in my first master course exam tomorrow ... How do I best describe my feeling right now .. I think I just want it to be over soon ... That's all I ask ....

Last night I had a dream about me sitting in the exam, forgetting to bring important materials and ended up doing badly in the exam ... I hope it is just a dream ... Right now I just want to get some nap ... My head, my eyes, my neck, my body, everything feel sore ....

Yoshhh!! Exam .. Bring it on!!!

Today ... I switch my mood to exam mood ... I feel like I am going to war and so pumped up that I want to win so badly ... hehehe ... Pray for me that I may use my time wisely these 2 weeks ... !!!!!

Unless the Lord builds, VANITY

I like to put my thoughts in blog and this is probably another entry of that kind. It sounds depressing, but somehow I'd like to retain those thoughts to remind me about what's really important ...

Last night, I was doing some thinking ... As usual, I took my guitar, sit on the couch outside, play softly and start thinking ... I was thinking about many things .... My family, my friends, my church, my work, my efforts, my future, my plan, my home, my bible study, my study, and so on. I was thinking and thinking and thinking, while I held my guitar and playing it anyway I felt like playin .... It was so quiet outside .. I could hear water dripping from the toilet but that was it .... so peaceful, so comforting, and so quiet ... This was around 3 am in the morning ... so you can imagine what it is like ....

While in that situation, I was reminded about one verse:

Psalm/Mzm 127:1
Unless the LORD builds the house, its builders labor in vain.
Unless the LORD watches over the city, the watchmen stand guard in vain.

Jikalau bukan TUHAN yang membangun rumah, sia-sialah usaha orang yang membangunnya;
jikalau bukan TUHAN yang mengawal kota, sia-sialah pengawal berjaga-jaga.

"That is just so TRUE" ... in my heart I said ...

I've experienced many things which unless the Lord builds, it is in vain ... But I was thinking again, surely men/women has done great things on earth ... great leaders like Martin Luther King, Nelson Mandela, Mother Theresa who is a champion of human rights, Napoleon who conquered Europe ....

So what does it mean then? Should I wait or should I do something? Will YOU build if I do not build?

The more I ponder into these questions, I was reminded of ecclesiastes series that we have done at Pemuda..Yes, the verse is so true that unless the Lord builds, open up a way, no men can fight against it .. This is done so that men/women may revere God who is the creator of all things ... This does not mean that we should do nothing ... Men/Women should build but at the same time we should acknowledge that it is because of the Lord's help that we can build it ... All glory in the end goes back to HIM ....

I was also reminded of David, king of israel ... I am just amazed how in his early life, he is described as a man after God's own heart ... He always asked God whether he should do something or not .... He acknowledged the Lord in all his ways and trusted the Lord ... and this is maybe where we are lacking today .... We might think that we have great programs/plans in mind, busy with "good" things in life, running 3 bible studies, active in ministry, doing higher education, work hard, doing business, but we fail to realise that unless the Lord builds, everything is meaningless ....

So whatever things that we have in our minds, let us acknowledge that unless the Lord builds the house, its builders labour in vain.

Life update

Well, I am starting to get used to busy life. Life is busy, but I am happy. Everyday is fulfilling and I have no regrets at all. A couple of random updates about me and people around me

• I am juggling with work and exam at the moment which will be on the 20, 22 and 27 of June. Started some revision already and aiming for PASS only this time. If I get distinction, I will be really happy. hehhehe ... Really happy!!! I mean it ...
  
• Currently doing 5000 words essay due this Thursday ... What a pain!!! Getting there, and thank God it is a group project. Group project has taught me a number of things: how to work with different people and trust that person to do his/her job well, which is a good thing. I have also learnt about how to manage group project better. Communication and trust really plays an important role to get work done properly.
• A bit sick (cold + caugh) today, I don't think I will go to work tomorrow. That means I will use the time to do my essay.
• One of my best friend, Jeff is going back to indo for good ... I need to contact him to have a farewell party before he goes back to Medan ... I wonder if I'd have the time to do that ...
  
• I envy my brother Jun these days ... He just finished his exam and got nothing to do the whole day ... Just relaxing and playing games, sleep, eat ... Fiuh .. what a good life man!!
• Jun just bought me a DVD player recently as my bday present .. Yay!! That means I can watch DVD whenever I am bored with my study now ... Video ezy is just closeby anyway!! hehehe ...
  
• And now, just have to benkyo benkyo!! Ganbate oooo!!!
  

True friends

Friends are hard to find. People make friends with other people and working together, encouraging each other, hurting each other and so on.

I am thankful that I have lots of friends and I am able to find some that I can trust .... Trust is the key to friendship and I just wanna give thanks to God because of this. Friends to me are very important, they add colours to my life, and life would be just boring without friends. They are there to share happy/sad moments in life and to give advise when needed sometimes. It will be interesting to see how all my friends going in 10, 20, or 30 years time? hehehe ...

Old man forgiveness!

It is funny that I feel the older you get, the harder it is to forgive someone. I can understand now, getting older (25 years of age) and all that. Sometimes, the matter is too serious and the stake is so high that it is just not in the agenda. To forgive does not necessarily to support that person keep doing wrong things to you and sometimes we should rebuke the person who has done wrong to us out of love for him/her. But I believe love should dominate our way of thinking.

When Paul said: "Forgive as the Lord has forgiven you", does that mean that we should forgive and suppress our anger? Since the model there is God's anger is still being pour out to Jesus, it is not free and there is a price that must be paid by someone. How about us? When we are angry with someone because he/she has done wrong to us, who should receive punishment?

Is it Jesus? Jesus died for my sin, yes, but this is not a matter between me and God, it is between me and other human being.
Is it us? maybe
Is it the person who has done wrong to us? I don't know, but if it is the other person, can it still be called forgiveness?
Who else?
Who should be punished?

"This is how the world will know that you are my disciple, if you love one another"
Arrghhhh, why is life so complicated? :)

Political matter

I always hate being so political. I don't see the point of doing it at all and I see it as an evil thing. Why? Because what you see might not reflect the heart of a person and that to me look like a hypocrite.

But now slowly I come to think that politics has its own place and it is not about saying/acting things that are different to your heart. It is a matter of knowing when to say/act and when to refrain from doing it. Being political is sometimes a good thing and I want to learn doing it more, but stay true to my heart at the same time.

MengenalMu

Bila ku buka mataku dan lihat wajahMu
Ku terkagum
Bila ku lihat hidupku dan karya tanganMu
Ku tersanjung

[Bridge]
Kar’na semua yang baik dalam hidupku
Itulah karyaMu
Kau bri kes’mpatan yang baru

[Chorus]
Dan ku ingin mengenalMu Tuhan
Lebih dalam dari
S’mua yang ku kenal
Tiada kasih yang melebihiMu
Ku ada untuk menjadi penyembahMu

The worst feeling

One of the worst feeling that people may have is the feeling of not being acknowledged by the group where he/she belongs to. You might be in the same group, doing the same thing, but the acknowledgement is just not there to grasp ... One of the cause is probably the inability to have the same mindset or knowledge as most people in the group ....

When faced with this kind of situation, there are basically 2 things we could do ...
1. Just shrink back and let that feeling of insecurity takes over
2. Realized that it is just part of life, even Jesus had to endure this during his life, and fight your way up ...

Which way will I choose?

No guts no glory

Hari ini aku decided utk pergi ke pemuda service. Pertamanya sih ga mau pergi, abis banyak banget essay yang due next week ... big ones!! Mann! I am doomed, tapi gara2 hari ini tugas main music, I had to go ... Tapi setelah pertamanya ngerasa setengah hati, I decided to give it a go. Tadi mikir kalo udah decide pergi, at least be there 100% gituuu ... So I did that and I had an encouraging time.

Ga tau kebetulan atau ngga, tadi Firman Tuhan juga menegur myself to run a good race, setting our heart on the things above and fix our eyes on Jesus. Well, akhir2 ini seriiiiiing banget miss out on saat teduh and other things soalnya busy banget sihhhh!!

And now, I have to go back to my essays. Got three big essays that I must finish before the ened of next week. Mannnnnn!! ..... so busyyyy!!

innocence

I am sending you out like sheep among wolves. Therefore be as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves.

How can we do this? How should we apply this statement in real life?

Omedeto VicBas and Lydia

Congrats to Vic bas and Lydia for their wedding yesterday.

Pesan dari ex flatmates 1/381 Anzac Parade Kingsford: Put God as #1 and humbly serve one another. Last but not least: beranak cuculah dan penuhilah Sydney.

Omedeto!

Random updates

• My birthday this year makes me feel that I am surrounded by good friends and families ... I received lots and lots of messages, phone calls and wishes from friends and families ... There were also small surprise parties, which is sweet ... As one of my friend said, one year older means wiser .. :)
• I am very inspired by one Japanese movie that I watch (Gokusen) .... It is about a teacher whose relationship with her students is very close ... Lots of funny and touching stories ... It's really really really cool ... even I cried watching it .. hehehe ... recommended to watch ...
• I learnt this past year that whenever bad things happen, I should learn to stand up on my own feet and walk again ... That's life ... Never run away from problem and always overcome my fear boldly ... Fight and stand up like a man! :)
• I've just got a new job in the city ... The company I will work for is a financial software companies which sells software to big banks such as westpac and CBA .. I'll be working closely with my close friend at uni ... I am hoping to get more exposure in the financial world, hopefully this new job gives me just that ... It will also help me to save school fee coz I can get some back from tax deduction ... yuhuu ... The sad thing is I have to leave my current company ... I am sure they will manage though ....
• Victor (my ex flatmate) and Lydia's wedding is approaching really fast ... I am happy for them ... Wishing that they will enjoy one another's company in the Lord ... and always put the partner above him/herself ..
• I feel that I don't do as well as my friends in my course at the moment .. I don't know whether it is a factor of me working and studying full time or it's just me not used to making essays for assignments or my friends are really smarties people ... I feel I can be be good at computing, maths and science subjects but not so in commerce subjects .... Well, the good thing is that my attitude to school and uni has changed considerably since last time I did my undergrad .. I feel school is not so much about mark/grade .. Yes, mark is important and I should try to do well, but the most important thing is to be able to learn something and use whatever I have in me to apply that in my own style .... I feel at ease and do not feel any pressure at all even though most of my friends are doing better than me so far .. :) ... cheer up di! I will just do what I can ... Yosshhh!!!!
• Bible study 2 ways to live has almost finished ... I am hoping that my fellow members grow in love, godliness and in knowledge of God. I sometimes wonder if I am any better compared to other leaders/former leaders .. But it is stupid really ... I should not think like that and I should just do what I can .... Next is Romans, really looking forward to that ....

Jun, my little bro

This entry is dedicated to Jun, my little brother...

I personally want to thank God for Jun because:
1. Of his patience towards me all these years .. dia jauuuhhh lebih sabar dari me ..... jempoll
2. enak sering dipijitin .. hehe .. apalagi kalo abis pulang kerja ...
3. His humour always enlighten me everytime gua BT ...
4. He seems to be able to read my mind - strange but true ...
5. He is always one of those people who miss me the most when I am away .. waktu masih kecil n gua tinggal ke malang, dia nangis berhari2 sampe berminggu2 ... how sweet bangettt ...
6. He is the one yg know almost all my secrets ... I can tell him almost anything since he is not prejudice ...
7. Great advisor on love matters ... hehhee ... true true .. he counsels many of his friends believe it or not ....
8. He came to Australia and starting to know more about Jesus and his salvation ... This last one is the one I am most grateful of ...

**God, please continue to work in him .. May he know you, the true and only God ... May His love for you grow day by day as he also loves his friends, families and even his enemies ... **

Mengertikah

Hari demi hari dilalui
sibuk sibuk dan sibuk
tak ada waktu untuk ini dan itu
terasa cepat tak kunjung berhenti

Hari demi hari tugas menanti
Jarang bercakap cakap lagi
Banyak yang tak paham
Seminggu tak bertemu, sebulan tak bersua
Seratus tahun tak terasa sudah

Kalau saja bisa baca isi hati
Pasti baca dengan rajin
Kan dicari sampai ketemu
Diraih dengan seluruh tenaga

Mengertikah..................................?

Banyak hal tak kupahami
Dalam masa menjelang
Tapi trang bagiku ini
Tangan Tuhan yang pegang

2 Timothy 2:1 - Therefore my dear son, be strong in the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Proverbs 24:1 - If you falter in times of trouble, how small is your strength!

The Heavenly Man book quote #1

Before I travelled to the West I had absolutely no idea that so many churches were spiritually asleep. I presumed the Western church was strong and vibrant because it had brought the gospel to my country with such incredible faith and tenacity. Many missionaries had shown a powerful example to us by laying down their lives for the sake of Jesus.

On Some occasions I've struggled while speaking in Western churches. There seems to be something missing that leaves me feeling terrible inside. Many meetings are cold and lack the fire and presence of God that we have in China.

In the West many Christians have an abundance of material possesions, yet they live in a backslidden state. They have silver and gold, but they don't rise up and walk in Jesus' name. In China we have no possessions to hold us down, so there's nothing preventing us from moving out for the Lord. The Chinese church is like Peter at the Beautiful Gate. When he saw the crippled beggar he said, "Silver or gold I do not have, but what I have I give you. In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, walk!" Acts 3:6

In a similar way, I pray that God might use the Chinese church to help the Western church rise up and walk in the power of the Holy Spirit. It's almost impossible for the church in China to go to sleep in its present situation. There's always something to keep us on the run, and it's very difficult to sleep while you're running. If persecution stops, I fear we'll become complacent and fall asleep.

References:
Brother Yun with Paul Hattaway, The Heavenly Man p.295-296m, Monarch Books, 2004.

A bet!

I made a bet last night with Jun ... If he stops playing game for two months, I will do the same thing by not downloading new animes (or even watch if he wants to) for two months as well ...

The point is not to limit his gaming time at all, but I am convinced that he is at a point of can not stop now (just like people can not stop smoking or drinking coffee) ... Wasting time on game too much is so stupid!! It is disrespectful to the ONE who give the time .... I do not gain anything from this bet ... nothing at all ... In fact I won't watch my lovely animes for two months until June ... How sad can that be? :(